And for today the chosen theme for my shave (by an electoral majority) is , 'Resignation'
And the results of the vote of confidence are in.........
As voted by the people - Stainless Mongoose
As not voted by the people - Tatara Nodachi
The chosen blade - feather Super Professional
Most votes - Signature Soaps Novus Spice
Elected moisturiser - Simple
And the winner is..... - Abatte Y Mantia Krokus splash
Good afternoon everybody,
It is clearly the will of The Shaving Party that I should no longer be their chosen leader. That is the choice of the party members. All one of them. Me.
Hence I feel my position is no longer tenable and against my better wishes I hereby tender my resignation as Leader/Vice leader/Chair/Vice chair/Whipped Chief/Secretary in a state/Minister for razors, razor blades, brushes and soaps/Tea lady/ and General dogsbody of The Shaving Party. This was as directed after careful deliberation by the one member (me) of the 2022 committee (Formerly known as the 2001 (a space oddity) committee which ceased after it was decided 2001 wasn't that odd after all)
I want to say to the one person who voted for me in 2016, the one voting for the first time, thank you for that incredible mandate, the biggest Shaving Party majority since 2016 and the biggest share of the vote since 2016. A masterful feat on its own merit.
During this time this party has delivered not only BREXIT (Bristles Removing Exercise In Traditionalism) but we have also become the fastest growing beards in the whole of the G-spot 7. And the fastest at removing them. We stuck firmly by and delivered on our manifesto promise of less beards, more lather and stood against the ill intentions of The Bearded Monster Raving Looney Party. We have delivered one great shave after another and introduced the welfare benefits of Japanese girly bands. No longer will the world be devoid of Beavers from Otoboke and no longer will people say Tsushimamire.... who? We are proud of our achievements and even prouder of our non-achievements.
However I have not been completely honest with you and after a lack of media attention or pressure I feel it is only correct to admit, I am in fact a bearded lady called Frank.
Under these circumstances I can no longer remain as head of The Shaving Party and under the rules as laid down by the 1812 (Overture and underture) committee it is the party's intention to start the process of looking for a new, more tonsurally dynamic party leader with more integrity and less of a beard. Being as there is only one enrolled member......
Don't vote for me
Vote me
Don't vote for me
Vote me
Thank you
Intentions at the start of this shave was to use the Nodachi, but being as I'd used it for most of this past week and being too idle to bother with taking my time with diddly little DE blades. I took the easy route of speed and efficiency and went with the Mongoose. Job done in a matter of minutes as against to hours. Team lather doing a great job.
A big smiley happy face in a shorter time than it takes to hold a ministerial position at the moment.
Hope your days are great and your shaves every bit the equal. And why not? Let's have some of those Beavers from Otoboke
.