SOTD : Saturday 7th May - Friday 13th May 2022.

Welsh language confirmed as a massive hoax​


The Welsh language was just made up to wind up tourists, Wales has admitted.
Describing the hoax as ‘like crop circles only way better’, Welsh comedian Simon the Williams told reporters how he and some friends invented the language for a laugh one evening using a bag of scrabble letters with all the vowels taken out.
Since that night in 1983, the whole thing just took off, with most of the country joining in just to piss off people from Hampshire on driving holidays.
“You thought we were speaking a real language all this time”, said Williams, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.
“It’s just run and run and run. You gave us money for it and everything.
“Jesus, you bunch of mugs. We spent it on beer.
“Or ‘Llogryllorhychach’ as we say in Wales”, he added before collapsing into helpless giggles again.
Tourists are left wondering what else about Wales might just be make-believe to wind them up, and questions are already being asked about Welsh cakes, Newport and Joe Ledley.
In the wake of the revelations, the BBC is looking into the funding of its other regional language services such as Scots Gaelic channel BBC Alba, which receives a huge budget and is run out of the snug of a pub in Dundee.
 
POSTED INENTERTAINMENT, NEWS

Nintendo Confirms Yoshi Has No Asshole​

MAYA SATIN NOVEMBER 26, 2019

Nintendo has finally put to rest one of the most hotly debated topics in all of gaming history. For 28 years, fans typed furious forum posts, broke their controllers, and fractured their friendships in pursuit of deep truth. Today, Nintendo reveals that truth: Yoshi, the beloved green dinosaur and gaming icon, does not have an asshole.
The surprise press release came in the early hours of the morning this Tuesday.
“Yoshi doesn’t poop, and the hole his eggs come from isn’t a butthole, but rather a separate entity known as the egg-hole,” read the company’s statement.
The man whose egg-hole Yoshi sprang from, Shigefumi Hino, was delighted by the announcement.
“Since I created Yoshi, I knew he had no asshole. I’ve been begging Nintendo to clarify this for fans since 1999. That was the year I realized it wasn’t as obvious to the public as it was to me that Yoshi had absolutely no hole with which to expel waste” Hino explained, “But you could tell, couldn’t you?”
“The way I voiced Yoshi always took into account his lack of asshole. From the pitch of his voice you can actually hear the lack of orifice,” said Yoshi’s longtime voice actor Kazumi Totaki. “Next time you play Super Mario World, listen closely.”
Why did Nintendo clarify Yoshi’s anatomy now, after years of waiting?
“I was sick and tired of the whole debate, and how it was affecting Mario and his friends,” said Mario creator and Nintendo’s director Shigeru Miyamoto. “People were starting to say things like, ‘Maybe Bowser doesn’t have a butthole, either’ and ‘Luigi probably has a third nipple and that’s what makes him a coward.’ I couldn’t tolerate that. Yoshi has no asshole, and the rest of the characters in the Mario universe are 100% anatomically correct. And that’s final.”
 
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