And with the end credits to TSR member
@culcreuch at the beginning I theme this shave 'The death of Satan?'
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The beginning bit - Univinlions Feather clone Kamisori shavette with the General V2 to stand in when I say 'Bollocks to this'
The middle bit - Feather Super Professional blades in both cases
Not quite the end bit - Yaqi Dandelion
Nearly the end bit - ADP Colonia soap
The end bit - L'Occitane Cade aftershave balm
Ah ah you forgot me, the end of all days bit - Floris Santal
I have tried Straights now on two occasions and on each attempt I have thrown in the towel after near death experiences and the fact that leather strops, lapping, pastes and honing are more bedroom activities than shaving
So in an attempt to retrieve the towel so I can endure a further beating I end up writing:
'You dear TSR chaps with the huge testicles, is a shavette a good way to learn straight shaving?'
Replies vary from may be, to no , to 'would you like to loan a couple of them?' from Mr. Culcreuch? In passing I discover Culcreuch is a castle which according to Google is not open on a Sunday night at 10pm. Bugger. Just as I thought I would pay it a visit. 'Yes please'. Up turns the postie complete with a package which I presume contains death. I am correct.
Unwrap said package and, yup a familiar foldy-up shavette (familiar because the local Turkish barber has one he trims the back of the neck with after setting alight to ears) and a small knife looking thing which appears to be a butchers chop for preparing fillets of meat from mice. It is pure coincidence by the way that once again mice seem to be at the centre of describing a shaving implement with me. They get a bad press.
It appears the small rodent knife is actually a Kamisori. Why, of course it is a Kamisori. A kamisori I'll be damned. What the fuck is a Kamisori?
Right, let's get this one on, let's get on with
slashing shaving. I rather like the look of the small scale butchers tool because it has a handle which looks like a handle and looks manageable. The Focus on the other hand I shy away from as loaded with a blade it has the same effect to me as attaching a DE blade (well, half a DE blade. Is it a 'D' or an 'E'?) to the end of a stick, wave around face, shit ones self and back off quickly.
So load the Kamisori style razor by making a complete cock up. Take the head apart, insert blade, then try to mate the two halves back together. Read what the man said Chris. Squeeze top of the head, insert blade and shave. So much easier and managed not to amputate finger ends in the process. Makes sense........what the man said
I do like to use the ADP on occasions like this as it is a soap which is so easy to get right and so hard to get wrong. It also happens to provide a wonderful barrier between sharp pieces of metal and the flesh on ones face. The Dandelion does a
Sterling Welsh job of introducing the ADP to bowl and from bowl to face. Super. Job done. Don't even ask 'why the bricks?'
Hit it. What to me is normally the sharpest SE blade in the pack has suddenly become one fucking sharp blade. It takes about a whole five seconds to draw blood
Ring 999
'Good evening, what service do you require?'
'The styptic pencil emergency team'
'On the way sir'
The styptic medical services appear and the blood which was drawn has been magically erased.
Think again, slow down, think one more time, hold breath and away for a second stab. Although I do pray I don't actually stab myself again, once was enough thanks. Shorter, lighter strokes and you know what? this is actually coming together. This is starting to look more like a shave as against to a lesson for micro-butchers. Left cheek first as being right handed I find this easier and then on to the right cheek. A little more dexterity required here as I am not quite so sure how to achieve the same as the other side and avoid a gouging at the same time. Some how it gets done but all in lots of little bits and pieces of blade passes and definitely an area which needs improvement. But with no further damage this is going in the right direction and I must say a little smoother than I thought it would be. I really did think I was going to be more badgers arse than beaver smooth, but beavers it was to be. Surprising. Continue or quit? I will take the continue please and down the neck disappears the Kamisori shavette. I found this easier than cheeks to be honest and the results more than just being happy. There was no chance I was going to try any further passes as I need more time and practice, but darn happy I am.
So over to the V2 for the first time since its return from a loan. Suddenly the same blade stops being 'the fucking sharpest blade in the pack' and more like shaving with a bluntest blade in the pack. But efficient to say the very least. Throw it all over the place at warp speed and in a matter of a few minutes the General has just proven itself to be probably the most assertive yet friendly SE on the planet. The Feather still remains the sharpest in the pack but in the V2 it just becomes the sharpest most manageable blade in the pack.
One super duper close shave all round and I am very pleased I managed to get one step closer to straight razors and still have a face left. The ladies were so impressed they queued up to see if they measured up to me. It appears one is a little short in the upper arm
Have a most wonderful and bodacious week ahead you folk of the forum and may you stay well and safe
Since
@culcreuch has already arrived at this point without reading any of the aforementioned trash I dedicate this song to him and in a very fitting manner I give you the appropriately named and legendary 'Shonen Knife'
