I had a beard until recently. Had been in hospital, hadn't shaved and couldn't be ar**d. I looked in the mirror after a week or so and Kenny Rogers beard was looking back at me! 'Hi there cowpoke' it said. Frightened me to death. My wife was not impressed with my country legend hirsuteness, I said calm down Lady, thought she had picked a fine time to leave me. Rather than be coward of the county I picked up my trusty slim and a clean towel, fell into my hand naturally actually, I suppose you gotta know when to hold them, when to fold them, shaved the blighter off, approached my beloved with amorous intent and told her we've got tonight. She told me to **** off! I begged her not to take her love to town. Had a sore bloody face after my shave mind you. Fizzer must get de-conditioned (Is that a word? who cares!)
Apologies to any Kenny fans. PS I was at school with Sheena Easton, albeit a few years her junior. What a pain in the tail she was! Made you want to leave school, probably on the morning train, mind you she had the look....... MUST STOP!