Right, well that is it Mr Crossan! You want a kick off? You got one. This shave arrives themed, 'Fight, fight, fight!'
Choose your handbag and hope you can count to 50. I can't, but I do have a nice selection of handbags.
The big fight - Stainless Mongoose
Bun fight - Feather Super Professional
Fight club - Highlander TSR LE
Fight off - Floris Elite
Fight back - L'Occitane Cade balm
Fight night - Floris Elite
'¡Oi! Me robaste la brocha de afeitar TSR, puta!'
The gloves are off for the great TSR punch up over who has the best Highlander TSR LE brush. Well let me tell you lot, there is no 'who?' because it's me. And if you don't agree then I'm afraid it's 'At dawn, choose your Louis Vuitton'
And welcome to my
fight shave of the day with the Big Goose out to prove why he is the true champion with his big head, long reach, powerful poise and slick inside work. While the LE brush steps in with his big handle(?) and his ability to mash faces to the point of throwing the towel in to the sink. Floyd Floris being your referee for this evening's 'bathroom brawl'.
'Let's get ready to Lathhhhhhhhher'
Touch gloves and they're away
And straight away the Highlander sticks his furry bit in the referee's beard and there is a rub of heads here with completely the wrong person. A point is deducted. Bish, bash, mish, mash and already this is starring to look like a slick fight. And there is lather! The LE has drawn lather! All over the referee's face.
In steps the Goose and flicks his blade here there and everywhere, a perfect jab, followed by a right hook and a punishing head shot. Already the lather is being worn down by a wonderful bit of fast razormanship. This is razor work at its very best.
And the referee is down, the referee is
d-o-w-n!
'1-2-3!' and the match is over. Three passing strokes which resulted in the perfect finish.
And, and, and, they are exchanging handbags in a show of respect.
No requirement for Doctor Styptic this evening and a massage of balm helps cool down the facial battering. The air has a sweet smell of Elitism.
Both the Mongoose and the Highlander have proven why they both stand in high esteem in the world of fight shaving. True champions. And my own TSR LE brush is indeed better than anyone elses.
And on come the Japanese girls to sing the Shaving National Anthem...
Nothing can beat The Beaver. I love you all
