Putting Your Foot In It

Pig Cat

Pig Cat

Joined
Friday July 10, 2009
Location
Suffolk
I got an email from an old school friend this evening. We keep in touch now and again, mainly at Christmas. It included some pictures of his growing family. Three children in all, the youngest about eight months old. Now for some reason I had it in my head that they were all boys. I complimented him on his three lovely boys then added for good measure a few 'humorous' remarks about how, seeing as I also have only boys, I think that boys are much better than girls.

Well, it turns out his baby is in fact a girl. He'd told me that when she was born. She was also wearing pink hats and pretty clothes in the photos. He wrote back explaining this and I think he saw the funny side, but needless to say I am still cringing with embarrassment!

:oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:

Anyone else had any experiences like this?
 
Yes.

I've worked in/run a Tech Support dept for a while, and have found that quite a few elderly ladies have quite masculine toned voices.

"Good morning, Sir. Have you tried turning it off and on again?"
"It's MADAM, and yes I have"

That has happened more times than I care to remember.


Also, just the other day (Monday), a girl who I will call "Jane" during this story, because her name is Jane, came into my office. Jane is a lovely girl, but almost as far around as she is tall.

She was wearing a top that had quite a few sequins on it, and the low sun streaming through my office window and reflecting off them lit up the room like a '70s disco.

"Blimey!" I exclaimed. "You're like a HUGE mirror ball!!"

I only realised that using "huge" and "ball" to describe her may have been a mistake once the words had actually left my mouth and were hanging in the air!

Fortunately, she, as always, saw the funny side and just laughed.

Ian
 
Number of years ago my wife and I were in her mothers shop. lingerie shop interestingly enough, when a regular customer came in. My mother in-law whilst serving her, enquired into the customer's mothers health, deadpan, she replied "That's her had the other leg aff" My wife and I held it together for about 5 long seconds, much inhaling, coughing and biting of cheeks. Of course we eventually lost it and we were howling, the result being an unhappy middle-aged lady and a mother in-law trying not to laugh. The woman left with a final "And she bought aw her tights oota here anaw". That was it, we were on the floor.
Did feel a bit shitty though :oops:

PS
Other day female colleague asks "Hi, want to see my wedding photos". Me, " Oh! did you get married again". Her, "Well, ehm, yes, I did, again!". Me, "Love to, super, beautiful, lovely, gibber, splutter, gibber". Feck!
 
This goes back to a former life.

As Chief Executive of my local authority I was attending a 'summit' meeting of Council Leaders throughout Hampshire and Dorset being held at our HQ in Lyndhurst. The meeting was being chaired by my council leader. During a break I had grabbed an important report from my office and was browsing through it when I suddenly looked up as I heard the words, "now the Chief Executive will explain this more fully "

All eyes were on me. I looked at my leader, picked up my report, and said, " I'm sorry chairman, I've been looking at these papers - I didn't hear a word you said."

There was silence.Then the room convulsed with laughter - the Chairman was grinning too, he gave me my cue and I was able to explain the Council's position on the proposed national park for the New Forest. Fortunately most people have a sense of humour.

Honesty is sometimes the best policy.
 
Fido said:
Honesty is sometimes the best policy.
Click to expand...


Did you know that when Shakespeare wrote that the word "policy" meant "deception" and he was advocating a double bluff: tell the truth, they'll assume you are lying, you will be in the clear and they will act on false assumptions. In modern language it would be: "telling the truth is the best way to deceive."

:geek:
 
Rev-O said:
Fido said:
Honesty is sometimes the best policy.
Click to expand...


Did you know that when Shakespeare wrote that the word "policy" meant "deception" and he was advocating a double bluff: tell the truth, they'll assume you are lying, you will be in the clear and they will act on false assumptions. In modern language it would be: "telling the truth is the best way to deceive."

:geek:
Click to expand...

My brain hurts! :cry:
 
My three year old has blonde hair,blue eyes and is quite a good looking child (from his Mam,definitely not me) .When his hair was longish,
quite a few people have asked what 'her' name is. His name is Liam. One old lady who was deaf eventually got it,
"He's name is Liam"
"Kathleen"
"No, Liam"
"leanne"
"No,LIAM"
"Liam, funny name for a little girl "
 
There was a man in the village where I used to live who used to wear a syrup. Everybody knew about it and talked about it but no-one was meant to know, it was all hush hush, if you know what I mean.
One day I went to visit a relative who had had a baby boy. This boy had a rather full head of hair.
The mother asked me what I thought about the new baby and trying to be funny I made the comment, "he's got more hair than ............"
Suddenly there was silence in the room. It was broken when the wife of Mr Syrup said "what did you say?". I didn't realise that his wife was there and his children. I just wanted the ground to swallow me up. The mother of the baby often laughs at the speed at which I made excuses and left.
 
OK, I did a funeral a couple of years ago. The daughter of the woman who had died emailed me a speech to read on her behalf. It was all addressed to "mum" and was very moving.

So in the service I said "Eileen's daughter Suzanne has given me some words to say." Addressing the coffin I then read then the script with best "vicar" intonation (slow, respectful, sincere, etc.): "Mum you were the greatest . . . mum you were the best . . . you were always there for us" etc.

Trouble was I'd printed out the whole email and just kept reading:

" . . . mum, thank-you for all you were. I know I won't be able to say this on the day, so I'd be very grateful if you could stand up and read this for me. Thanks, Suzanne."

Oh man I wanted to die. I was *SO* apologetic. It was awful.
 
Rev-O said:
OK, I did a funeral a couple of years ago. The daughter of the woman who had died emailed me a speech to read on her behalf. It was all addressed to "mum" and was very moving.

So in the service I said "Eileen's daughter Suzanne has given me some words to say." Addressing the coffin I then read then the script with best "vicar" intonation (slow, respectful, sincere, etc.): "Mum you were the greatest . . . mum you were the best . . . you were always there for us" etc.

Trouble was I'd printed out the whole email and just kept reading:

" . . . mum, thank-you for all you were. I know I won't be able to say this on the day, so I'd be very grateful if you could stand up and read this for me. Thanks, Suzanne."

Oh man I wanted to die. I was *SO* apologetic. It was awful.
Click to expand...

We have a WINNER!!! :lol:

Ian
 
Yeah, and they didn't laugh or in any way make it OK; it was an honest mistake, they just blanked me afterwards. That was the worst: their reaction.

Oh I wish I could go back in time and do it right.

:oops:
 
Lol Ollie.

Can't think of much. I did give a pregnant lady my seat on the tube once. She said thanks and I said 'when's it due?' cos she was quite big. Turns out she wasn't pregnant. At the next tube stop, I ran out my carriage and got into the one next to ours. From that day onwards, I made sure i'd check 'em out properly.
 
I did similar with a rather large-breasted girl I knew. She was wearing a dress that jutted out because of her bosoms, and hung straight down, making her look (I thought) pregnant. "And what have you been up to?" I quothed, in a kind of nudge-nudge wink-wink way. "I'm not pregnant," she retorted.

You can't apologise enough in a situation like that.
 
I NEARLY put my foot in it today. Very nearly.
Going into a car park in Matlock Bath, it was icy and you go up a hill. A can went from where other cars had been and onto some ice.
There was a 4x4 thing behind, that tried to go around the car, up the hill on the ice. He failed, and slid back down.
I nearly said
"look at the mentality of that idiot, typical 4x4 driver, hes got a 4x4 and thinks he can do anything. Complete small dicked tosser"

I was with my GF and her parents.
He dad has a 4x4 :oops:
Luckily, before i said it my brain engaged and i shut up. ;)
 
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