Mental Health Awareness

Sabre said:
Well I have found a new job in a nicer part of the country starting January. I am moving to the Lake District from the Chilterns, well High Wycombe. I wasn't enjoying my current job which created too much anxiety. I also suffer from diabetic neuropathy, which causes constant pain. The most annoying issue is that my GP, whichever one it is always declines pain and neuropathy medication requests.

I hope everyone has an enjoyable festive season.
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Good news for others warms my heart and the Lake District will always be a special place for me.
 
I hear you @karlc ... it's all a bit of a blur and to be frank, as someone without a physical base/office I feel like I just get out of bed, walk to my home office, stay there for the day, cook dinner and get about an hour or so to do anything I might want to before bed by around 2030 (yes, half eight ... not I might finally get to bed some time during 2030). I read for a bit. Rinse repeat (without the raving).

Draining.

I suppose you'd say I've been lucky to have wangled a set of sessions with a Clinical Psychologist ... and the result has been life-changing. But, yes, still just knackered with the grind. Remember that IAPT is a thing, folks (see: https://www.england.nhs.uk/mental-health/adults/nhs-talking-therapies) and if that's not quick enough, perhaps engage with a private therapist.

My key strategy has been to have a very clear work/home seperation. Yes, my main place of work is at home, but I do block off a lunch break where I push away and cut off completely at close of play with no dipping in through the evening. Getting outside at lunchtime has done wonders, just for a mile or so bimble. Vitamin supplementation - specifically vitamin D which I think we're all lacking here in the dull UK. Something social, even if it's the gym - I practice fencing and while it's only one evening a week, it certainly breaks up the ever rolling train of days going by.

Enjoy weekends. Slow down. Savour whatever it is we do and maybe take a new perspective on our lives that have probably been running at 150% for many years now that normal feels like standstill. That's fine. I'm finding the slowing and the savouring to be very beneficial. Keep it all simple and enjoy the depth of simplicity.

... and never fear to ask for help, something that's very alien to a person of my age and upbringing of personal responsibility and self-reliance.

Sharing strategies for coping is good. Having a little furry friend, or three, is so joyful. If anything, we can savour a good shave every day and take a few minutes to engage here and tell folks about it.

Just saying it out loud is good.

My therapist left me with this poem at the end of our sessions.

 
I worked from home today, doing an unpleasant task that had to be done, literally data processing as the software has a fault.
I am a Finance Systems Manager. I don't know how the individuals do this normally.
My eyesight went at 3pm. I went straight to bed with a headache, where my diabetic neuropathy started. These are severe pains in my toes, feet and legs. I just got up to reheat my King Prawn Vindaloo and have a shower. I usually spend my weekends in bed, but last weekend I saw the lights in Central London and had a few great meals, especially Lebanese in the Edgeware Road.

I would advise to get out of bed and do something, anything. See a Pantomime, the Nutcracker ballet, or a Carol concert.

I have also bought two books to read over the festive break.

The Princess and the Goblin
The King of Elfland's Daughter

Both fantasies to escape reality.
 
Gairdner said:
I’ve been shit lately, really shit. Falling down a lot due to my arthritic knees combined with the unbalancing effects of acute anxiety. The dark nights don’t help and my lack of activity has meant my weight has crept back up. Whereas six years ago, I could drop down and do 45 press ups, I doubt I’d manage ten now. Going for a pee is hard work. Money is shit, debts here and there and I’ve got to the stage I can’t look after myself for more than a couple of days on my own.

And it’s bloody hard to write this here but it got so bad last Tuesday after yet another fall that I took an overdose in an attempt to end it all. Couldn’t even get that right! Not so much a cold, calm and calculated effort but more a spur of the moment attempt due to an overwhelming need for the pain in my knees and between my ears to stop once and for all. I was due to take pain meds and as I usually decant my blister packs into an old pill bottle, I wolfed the bloody lot. Nigh on 100 Gabapentin.

So blue light to A&E after my Fiancée discovered what I’d done and I thought they’d pump my stomach then section me. Nope. Vitals taken regularly and bloods plus constant monitoring and I never even conked out! It would have been a very different story if I’d had a drink and popped a good few Co-codomol too

Picking up a bit now but still down there. Just so fucking ashamed I put my loved ones through it all.

As a close mate of mine said to me, it wasn’t so much that I wanted to kill myself but that I couldn’t cope with the pain of being alive and wanted said pain to stop. Big difference. A sudden and massive, overpowering rush of negative emotion post-fall.

Sod that, I’ve too much to lose and so much to live for. Just got to find a better way of keeping on, keeping on.

Sorry if any of this offends or is too close to the bone. I can hardly believe I’ve actually typed it here but there you are.

It pains me to read of others’ woes here too but it strangely comforts me in that I know I’m not alone and you all are still here, still fighting.

Right, I’m back off under my rock.
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I really have nothing else to add thats not already been said.
I did say to the wife I thought you were quiet of late.
I am yet another ear, you can talk to.
Just to reiterate , come post on here or PM anyone of us, as I know from personal experience just how quickly depression escalates. Even now I have to reset myself because I see the signs but have been buried under it before, when it's just overwhelmed me
Take care
Mark
 
karlc said:
Im struggling.
I just feel tired, both physically and psychologically.
I don't feel I have anything to live for
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You have you to live for, you may think at times what's the point of going on but we are all here for a reason it just takes time, sometimes a long time to figure out what that reason is but something will happen one day and then you will realise what your reason for living is.
Stay strong my friend, you are not alone and you have people here that genuinely care about you even if we have never come into face to face contact.




Paul.
 
karlc said:
Mood has been low lately. I've been feeling quite bored and uninspired in life at the moment, and it doesn't help with the winter rolling in with the shorter day light.

Feel like a need a challenge in life..even considering a career change, as I don't feel like I'm enjoying working in children's social care any more and it's been grinding me down for a while.
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If that's what it takes then start looking for a career change, I was working in a hostel for 16-18 year olds, sometimes a little younger but the work would tax me mentally and I found myself burnt out after two years and I had to go for my own mental health and do something totally different, so if it's grinding you down you must for your own sake seek a different line of employment, I found helping these young people wasn't helping me in the long run and to be fair to these young people and to myself I had to leave.

Paul.
 
Blademonkey said:
If that's what it takes then start looking for a career change, I was working in a hostel for 16-18 year olds, sometimes a little younger but the work would tax me mentally and I found myself burnt out after two years and I had to go for my own mental health and do something totally different, so if it's grinding you down you must for your own sake seek a different line of employment, I found helping these young people wasn't helping me in the long run and to be fair to these young people and to myself I had to leave.

Paul.
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I have come to the realisation in the last few months that I am done with this job. Over the years, I've found my mental health getting worse, I've lost interest in my hobbies before, hardly exercise anymore (I'm just too drained after a day of work to do anything), I comfort eat a lot, hardly leave the house and now I'm avoiding taking on any new children / cases. I just don't enjoy it anymore and my hearts not in it, which is not easy when you're in a role working with children with complex needs and challenging behaviours that need a lot of emotional engagement. There's no challenge, nothing new to learn or experience and I'm bored of the role.

I am looking at new things but unfortunately its waiting for them to process.
 
My situation is different but similar. I'm mid 50s and have become so worn out by the incessant panic, rush, emergency bollocks that advertising involves and the non-existent work life balance for really shitty reward that I've finally crashed and am officially signed off. Now i can hardly do anything. Just functioning normally round the house has become impossible, having not slept properly in years due to living on adrenaline I now find myself sleeping all night, having a cup of tea and falling asleep for most of the day. House is a shambles, social life ditto, cba even to post SotD at the moment although I've kept on shaving out of self care. I've never slept so much in my life, not even as a teenager. Now I understand what people are talking about with "burnout". I used to think "well we're all stressed and tired but crack on", until the wheels fell off. You need time to recover and possibly meds and/or professional help once it gets this far. And then try to figure out what you can do to continue to work to pay bills and avoid a repeat. It's harder at the moment because the "haves" are all hammering the "have nots" so as to not lose out and pressure is mounting on all sides. I don't know what the answer is and I also don't know what to do next. I have kept my job so far but will have to go back in a reduced capacity for a bit. I also intend to exercise more and eat better instead of sleeping and comfort eating. You have to keep on fighting but see what you can change. I am gradually improving and some of the pains are getting less noticeable, but motivation is still hard I'm still easily overwhelmed and I have no idea about what kind of career change I could do, given my age, level of exhaustion and my very niche experience.
 
hotmetal said:
become so worn out by the incessant panic, rush, emergency bollocks that advertising involves and the non-existent work life balance for really shitty reward that I've finally crashed and am officially signed off.
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I feel the same. I work within childrens social care and it just feels the same.

Im really considering if its worth trying to see a GP over the next few days.
I just feel like I cant perform in my job at the moment (not ideal when dealing with social workers (most seem like bullies), foster carers and working hands on with kids) that it feels like Im more of a liability and a burden than a help. I just need time away from it all
 
Burnout is a real thing. I used to think otherwise until it got me. If you're struggling then do see your GP. Some are sympathetic, others less so, depends if they've had issues themselves (or friends and family maybe). You may well need a couple of months off. It doesn't solve the core issue of course, but gives you breathing space to recover and stop it from causing long-term harm.
 
pjgh said:
I think that not only is the burnout itself damaging but given you've been running at 200% for some time, coming back to any kind of normality through a deliberate slowing can often bring a second damaging feeling that you're not being productive.
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And there's the kick... "Not being productive" I think we're conditioned nowadays to be productive, and I honestly believe it's an artificial construct. I've suffered badly with mental health problems and my breakthrough came when I made the conscious decision to get binary with myself...is it good for me or is it not? I just worked through things going on in my life, trying to be brutally honest (very difficult to be in reality) and stopped doing things that were bad for me. It's ongoing and sometimes vanity gets in the way, but by cutting out all the self inflicted bull shit I can move forward. I don't feel the need to be productive, in a hundred years time no one will even remember me so why do I give any importance to being productive? I think self worth and integrity means more to me than any thing, cutting out the unnecessary bull shit . Living in the moment, being kind and trying not to be a cunt is where it's at.
I apologise for my ramblings, I've had a drink, I open up a bit after a drink.
Anywayyy... X
 
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