How do you cure social anxiety?

Everybody it would seem is different. For me going out for food eg pubs, restaurants cafes makes me anxious. So much so that I may not be able to eat anything despite being hungry and the food fantastic.
Also going to places where there is a risk that dear wife will say lets go here for food.
Buffets and McDonalds (familier place) seem to be fine.
 
SWMBO used to have that too, she'd never let anyone see her eat. We found that step by step exposure was best. Eating in the house in groups then going out at quiet points in the day (places like McD's etcseemed to be fine). She is fine now but still occasionally paranoid that people are watching her eat. That was more of her phobia that people were watching her eat.

Im pretty sure there isn't a final answer for you but my guess would be to ease yourself into it.......... oh and as hard as it sounds, talk about it with your loved ones. Problems like these are always easier shared.

You've taken a step just speaking about it here.
 
Polar opposite for me i very rarely express myself so some folk mistake me for being aloof when in reality im quietly thinking to myself, it's a trait most intj folk have.

Id say what andy suggests is best, just gradually build it up and just try to relax and enjoy your surroundings not to get all pent up on what might happen.

Like the dr pepper ads, what's the worst that can happen. ;)
 
I find that when one wishes to train ones mind to change actually talking to yourself (in private obviously) helps, I think they are known as affirmations you will probably feel like a bit of a prat but I can assure you that doing so has helped me develop self confidence over the years and I also used them while quitting smoking about 2 years ago.

Look yourself in the mirror and firmly state what you want to achieve eg " I am going to dinner, I will have a great time and I will not feel anxious!" The more often you say it the more it starts to sink in.
 
Jeltz said:
I find that when one wishes to train ones mind to change actually talking to yourself (in private obviously) helps, I think they are known as affirmations you will probably feel like a bit of a prat but I can assure you that doing so has helped me develop self confidence over the years and I also used them while quitting smoking about 2 years ago.

Look yourself in the mirror and firmly state what you want to achieve eg " I am going to dinner, I will have a great time and I will not feel anxious!" The more often you say it the more it starts to sink in.
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Louise Haye says that +ive affirmations should be expressed in the present tense, in a way to fool the subconcious, or otherwise the desired result stays in the future. The flip side of that approach is that it is even harder not to feel like a prat as you say 'I enjoy eating in restaurants and pubs' or whatever.
Apart from specific approaches for this particular anxiety, pretty well any kind of meditation will generally lower anxiety across the board. Also, hypnosis which is very similar to hypnosis, is a handy way of directing the benefits of meditation towards a specific aim.

Should I get my white coat now??
 
Flatfish said:
Everybody it would seem is different. For me going out for food eg pubs, restaurants cafes makes me anxious. So much so that I may not be able to eat anything despite being hungry and the food fantastic.
Also going to places where there is a risk that dear wife will say lets go here for food.
Buffets and McDonalds (familier place) seem to be fine.
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How do you actually feel when your out. You mention what you can't do, such as eat the food unless your in a familiar place, but no mention of how you feel other than anxious.
 
I tend to try to avoid the situation. My wife notices quite quickly these days. Lets go somewhere else, lets take a picnic, MacDonalds anyone.
When I'm in the situation I'm on edge, my hands may shake a little, heart rate goes up. Sometimes halfway through I relax a bit and I'll be fine. Other times I don't.
Familiarity with a place helps. I sometimes have Sunday dinner in a local pub. A large family group of us goes, we sit in the same place (because the group is too large to sit anywhere else) and the food is good. I am fine. I went once with just the wife and kids, the place was full, and we were led to a table in the middle of everyone. I had to leave, I could feel the anxiety building up really quickly.
Does anyone else suffer with this? Not necessarily with food of course.
Thanks for all the advice so far.
 
How would you feel going into somewhere new for a meal with the family and the place was empty with the exception of a few staff and a couple of guys at the bar?
 
Sounds like this might be a kind of agoraphobia possibly? I think Flatfish could find some help just by asking his GP about his situation. I bet there is help available. Better than asking a bunch of loonies like us lot. No offence gentlemen. :?

<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agoraphobia" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agoraphobia</a><!-- m -->

Just had a look at the above link. It mentions 'social anxiety' which is in the title of the thread. Looks like there are cures and I am even more certain that a GP should be able to help you.
 
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