Mental Health Awareness

Tuesday set me back a bit, very busy, very stressed, and gave myself major eyestrain, with all the attendant headache, neck pain and nausea. Made me feel really crap, like I'll be unable to keep working despite needing to for the foreseeable 20+ years. I'm probably overthinking it but that's half my trouble. However, yesterday I got ahead and today I'm a bit calmer, been doing some breathing exercises but I've been in fight or flight mode for so long it's a long haul to train my mind and body to calm down.
 
hotmetal said:
Tuesday set me back a bit, very busy, very stressed, and gave myself major eyestrain, with all the attendant headache, neck pain and nausea. Made me feel really crap, like I'll be unable to keep working despite needing to for the foreseeable 20+ years. I'm probably overthinking it but that's half my trouble. However, yesterday I got ahead and today I'm a bit calmer, been doing some breathing exercises but I've been in fight or flight mode for so long it's a long haul to train my mind and body to calm down.
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Try to take life one day at a time, when you start to think about twenty years to come it's going to be overwhelming, it would be for anyone.
Pleased to hear that you are feeling a little calmer and the breathing exercises are of some benefit.
Take care.

Paul.
 
hotmetal said:
Tuesday set me back a bit, very busy, very stressed, and gave myself major eyestrain, with all the attendant headache, neck pain and nausea. Made me feel really crap, like I'll be unable to keep working despite needing to for the foreseeable 20+ years. I'm probably overthinking it but that's half my trouble. However, yesterday I got ahead and today I'm a bit calmer, been doing some breathing exercises but I've been in fight or flight mode for so long it's a long haul to train my mind and body to calm down.
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Yah I kinda get like this sometimes. I'll be like "I got this to do and this to do and this to do and this to and this............" I have to stop and remember that I can only do so much in a day and there are only 7 days in a week 1 of which I make sure is purely for me and the Mrs to spend time together doing something like a walk with the dog. And then I make sure I schedule some time out just for me. So I can go out for a ride and clear the head.

I also find it helpful when I'm getting really stressed about how much I have to do I write a physical to-do list, it's surprising how helpful, mentally, that is. As as you tick a few jobs off you actually see the list disappearing and you realise you don't actually need to stress about how much you have got to do. However I still freak out at times and then need to remind myself all of the above.
Take it easy
CjH
 
Cheers. Yeah the to-do list thing helps, I have a mini whiteboard for this. If I'm honest, I probably do have *time*, it's energy, confidence and impetus I lack at the moment. It's like I can only think of one thing at a time or I get confused/distracted. Somehow procrastination just creeps in. The energy thing comes from lack of sleep and constant discomfort, I think I'm actually just exhausted tbh. I feel like I need 3 months off work. Which, pre pandemic would've been just about possible although expensive. Unfortunately bad clients, Covid and Fishy Rishi killed off my business so now getting 3m off would mean jacking my job in, which would be the worst thing right now. I feel like I could sleep for a week, although more then 6h is difficult.
 
Looking for a bit of advice & coming at this thread in a slightly different way:

My brother has suffered from depression for most of his adult life. In recent years this has prevented him from working. He lives alone, and our parents are no longer around. Other than his mates in the pub, I have suspected he is lonely.

We are not the closest, and he has always been a very private person. He has been increasingly isolated of late - by that he has told me that he isn't going out and about - shopping when only necessary. His communication even by text has dropped off.

Naturally I'm worried about him. He's opened up that he is struggling - how best is it to instigate a conversation about wanting to help? Sorry if this is a daft question. I've let him know I'm worried and asked if I can call round for a coffee this weekend as a starter to get over the threshold.

Thanks, Richard
 
Glen_Lee said:
Looking for a bit of advice & coming at this thread in a slightly different way:

My brother has suffered from depression for most of his adult life. In recent years this has prevented him from working. He lives alone, and our parents are no longer around. Other than his mates in the pub, I have suspected he is lonely.

We are not the closest, and he has always been a very private person. He has been increasingly isolated of late - by that he has told me that he isn't going out and about - shopping when only necessary. His communication even by text has dropped off.

Naturally I'm worried about him. He's opened up that he is struggling - how best is it to instigate a conversation about wanting to help? Sorry if this is a daft question. I've let him know I'm worried and asked if I can call round for a coffee this weekend as a starter to get over the threshold.

Thanks, Richard
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I'd say if you can get him to talk about anything that's a good thing. Maybe he will open up. I'd not try to push a conversation though (from personal experience, happy to discuss via Pm if needs be).
 
Glen_Lee said:
Looking for a bit of advice & coming at this thread in a slightly different way:

My brother has suffered from depression for most of his adult life. In recent years this has prevented him from working. He lives alone, and our parents are no longer around. Other than his mates in the pub, I have suspected he is lonely.

We are not the closest, and he has always been a very private person. He has been increasingly isolated of late - by that he has told me that he isn't going out and about - shopping when only necessary. His communication even by text has dropped off.

Naturally I'm worried about him. He's opened up that he is struggling - how best is it to instigate a conversation about wanting to help? Sorry if this is a daft question. I've let him know I'm worried and asked if I can call round for a coffee this weekend as a starter to get over the threshold.

Thanks, Richard
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He is lucky to have a brother like you.
Have that cup of coffee and don't beat around the bush, remind him that you care and are worried and that you are there for him. Being depressed is one thing, being depressed and lonely is something else altogether, not good at all.
Has he ever seen a doctor regarding his depression, if not I would suggest that he seeks help from his GP who could also refer him to his local mental health team if need be.
Please let us know how you get on .


Paul.
 
Blademonkey said:
He is lucky to have a brother like you.
Have that cup of coffee and don't beat around the bush, remind him that you care and are worried and that you are there for him. Being depressed is one thing, being depressed and lonely is something else altogether, not good at all.
Has he ever seen a doctor regarding his depression, if not I would suggest that he seeks help from his GP who could also refer him to his local mental health team if need be.
Please let us know how you get on .


Paul.
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@Glen_Lee - what P. said. He's open to talking about it. That's a good start...... - I.
 
Glen_Lee said:
Thanks guys for the advice & tips. Had a good catchup with my brother at the weekend, chatted through a few things and hopefully bit of plan moving forward. Nothing complicated - but he has a number of issues ongoing.

Cheers @donnie_arko for the offer of a PM!
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Great news, half the problem is sorted when you can get them to open up and share their problems.
I wish your brother all the best of things life can give him and well done to you for taking the time to care.

Paul.
 
I learnt about a new resource today that may help any adult male who wants to get stuff off their chest. It's called named Andy's Man Club after a young fella for whom everything got too much, with tragic results, but by no means is it only for people who are that much up against it. It's taken off like mad as the need is so great, so there are quite a lot of groups opening all over the country now. It's a place where guys can meet up on a Monday evening and just talk, get it out, and also hear others' stories, problems and ways of coping. A great way of breaking the isolation trap and finding like-minded company. It's also online if there isn't one near you.

The best thing is they're removed all the barriers, so no fees, no referral needed etc. Even the geographical barrier is mitigated by their online chatroom, for which you can register and they send you a new secure link every week.

Seems perfect for anyone feeling isolated, struggling, needing someone to talk to who isn't your family or work colleague/boss. Not necessarily to talk 'about' your issue, it's OK to just go there for company, especially when depression can make you feel like you don't want to leave the house or talk to anyone for fear of burdening them.

Andy's Man Club | #ITSOKAYTOTALK

ANDYSMANCLUB are a men’s suicide prevention charity, offering free-to-attend peer-to-peer support groups across the United Kingdom and online.
andysmanclub.co.uk andysmanclub.co.uk
 
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hotmetal said:
I learnt about a new resource today that may help any adult male who wants to get stuff off their chest. It's called named Andy's Man Club after a young fella for whom everything got too much, with tragic results, but by no means is it only for people who are that much up against it. It's taken off like mad as the need is so great, so there are quite a lot of groups opening all over the country now. It's a place where guys can meet up on a Monday evening and just talk, get it out, and also hear others' stories, problems and ways of coping. A great way of breaking the isolation trap and finding like-minded company. It's also online if there isn't one near you.

The best thing is they're removed all the barriers, so no fees, no referral needed etc. Even the geographical barrier is mitigated by their online chatroom, for which you can register and they send you a new secure link every week.

Seems perfect for anyone feeling isolated, struggling, needing someone to talk to who isn't your family or work colleague/boss. Not necessarily to talk 'about' your issue, it's OK to just go there for company, especially when depression can make you feel like you don't want to leave the house or talk to anyone for fear of burdening them.

Andy's Man Club | #ITSOKAYTOTALK

ANDYSMANCLUB are a men’s suicide prevention charity, offering free-to-attend peer-to-peer support groups across the United Kingdom and online.
andysmanclub.co.uk andysmanclub.co.uk
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This looks like a great service for people to use if they would prefer an online service, thank's for posting.

Paul.
 
Yeah my nearest one is about half an hour away. Some people also prefer the online format, or they dip their toe in the water online first to see what the craic is before finding their local group.

I like the fact that it's open to any bloke over the age of 18, there's no waiting lists and GPs involved, you don't need to 'prove' you need it etc and it's not as formal as a therapy group or counselling. A guy can just go there and just unload, or go for the companionship and find some buddies who might help you through a rough patch (and vice versa).
 
hotmetal said:
Yeah my nearest one is about half an hour away. Some people also prefer the online format, or they dip their toe in the water online first to see what the craic is before finding their local group.

I like the fact that it's open to any bloke over the age of 18, there's no waiting lists and GPs involved, you don't need to 'prove' you need it etc and it's not as formal as a therapy group or counselling. A guy can just go there and just unload, or go for the companionship and find some buddies who might help you through a rough patch (and vice versa).
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There is a service called 'Man Down' quite close to me, it's a drop in meeting place held at a barber's shop from 7pm to 9pm every two weeks, I've been tempted to go and see what it's all about but I've got quite a big problem with meeting new people in groups and can never pluck up the courage to go along to there meetings, it sounds like it's perfect for me as it is just about men with mental health problems who may benefit from seeing others in the same boat and just chatting about what's going on in your life at the moment, the trouble is, when I'm at the point of needing the most help that is the point where I can't talk about it with anyone, it's frustrating that when I need a to vent I just withdraw and hide under my duvet. I could go there if I was feeling well but I think we'll what's the point!
Anyway I'm sure it's a great service and could be very helpful to those who can handle new faces in a group. :)

Paul.
 
Blademonkey said:
There is a service called 'Man Down' quite close to me, it's a drop in meeting place held at a barber's shop from 7pm to 9pm every two weeks, I've been tempted to go and see what it's all about but I've got quite a big problem with meeting new people in groups and can never pluck up the courage to go along to there meetings, it sounds like it's perfect for me as it is just about men with mental health problems who may benefit from seeing others in the same boat and just chatting about what's going on in your life at the moment, the trouble is, when I'm at the point of needing the most help that is the point where I can't talk about it with anyone, it's frustrating that when I need a to vent I just withdraw and hide under my duvet. I could go there if I was feeling well but I think we'll what's the point!
Anyway I'm sure it's a great service and could be very helpful to those who can handle new faces in a group. :)

Paul.
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Makes sense. It's great these services are there but they require you to be well enough to go along.
Last year in good mental health wanted to join a group locally who are interested in the same hobby as me but I felt too awkward to go along, even though they would probably all have been very welcoming and we would only be chatting about our shared interest in the hobby. I can't imagine walking in at your most vulnerable to a support group. I guess you might not be expected to talk the first time but just listen to others which might help you.

As mentioned elsewhere my nan passed away this morning after a gradual decline (she was 92) and although I think I'm handling it OK I feel quite listless this evening and totally demotivated with work. Work seems so insignificant in comparison, but I need the money coming in and don't want to let people down.
 
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