fantastic

i love it mate tried lot of different stuff in my time and this is nice
but only time will tell mate need to use the full bottle for a proper answer mate to see if it still keep my face moist and not dry

but its doing a good job at the mo mate
 
Urban Hermit said:
Pig Cat said:
I think you may have the same tap as me. And possibly the same shaving mirror too. :cool:
Click to expand...

... maybe ...
  • ... maybe he is you - *GASP*
    • dun - dun - dun![/list:u][/list:u]
Click to expand...


    • Aaaaggghhhhh!!!! It's me, Pig Cat! I'm turning in to Jimmyman. My username is subtly different but I have the same shaving mirror and tap, and now I'm actually him. Please Urbane Helmet, tell me what to do, in the name of all that is holy*!!!!!!





      *Rev-O
 
... um, as I am not really able to do anything in the name of anything that's 'holy' (nevermind 'all' that's 'holy'), perhaps this other ancient technique I just made up will work?

Simply follow these instructions:

  • - We have suspended 50 ordinary limes around you at pretty much face-level, each attached to its own string.
    - Each lime has been injected and the succulent interior has been supersaturated with vodka.
    - Take this specially-modified plastic straw - keep it tightly clenched between your teeth - the straw will stay open and cannot close due to suction and/or vacuum pressures exerted (or whatever the science-y crap really would be).
    - Next, tilt your head back and stab a lime with the straw so forcefully that your lips are smooshed up against the peel.
    -Then drain all of the juicy wodka out of the lime in one quick mighty slurp - if at all possible, try and collapse the lime into a dried out, shrivelled up husk in an unnaturally, if not impossibly short period of time.
    -Repeat this procedure for each of the other 49 limes in turn, until they are all drier than Oscar Wilde's wit in a desert on Mars at high noon.[/list:u]

    Unfortunately, there is an all most certain-to-occur side effect: singultuses! These eruptions are, however, your best indicator that the procedure is working properly.

    I shall call this procedure,
    • ...
      • ... (wait for it! ... )
        • ...
          • ... "The Lime-Hic Manoeuver!"[/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u]
 
Urban Hermit said:
... "The Lime-Hic Manoeuver!"
Click to expand...

from the moment I posted this, I have been innundated by PMs, emails, strip-o-grams (I will be bleaching both eyes and my brain, later tonight, due to that trauma!), and the usual psychic assaults sent through the void in the etheric form of comical cartoon monkeys throwing poo-as-shaped effigies of pop stars I hate more than most of the pop stars I just really dislike.

The basic content of these communiqes has been to ask me: "will this spanking new (oo kinky) ancient technique indeed reverse PigCat's transition into a jimmyman doppleganger?"

  • To be honest (me? - heh, yeah, right), before Pig Cat is likely to get half way through the prescribed course of treatment, he really won't care if it works.
    • ... and if and when he does complete the full 50 lime prescription, he is unlikely to remember being jimmyman or PigCat, so ...
      • It's a durned good thing that I am an altruistic, selfless humanitarian, because ...
        • I forget to get the fee up front![/list:u][/list:u][/list:u][/list:u]
 
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....huh? WHAT!!??

Oh my god is that the time? My head hurts. Who are you? And you? And what are you doing with that cucumber? :? :oops: :eek:

Has it worked?
 
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