Surely a contender for Post of the Year - Bravo Iain!Sotd - Tuesday the 7th of August -
Razor - ATT Calypso - 'Maria' - on loan
blade - Schick Proline (2)
brush - Simpsons Chubby One best
soap - Barrister and Mann - Roam - sample
post - witch hazel
a/s - B&M - Roam tonic - sample
scent - B&M - Roam edt - sample.
Result - top end but weird and getting weirder -
I had commented recently on the experience of walking through a local park as the weather broke - vegetation and earth getting wet for the first time in weeks - an intoxicating event - such an over-overwhelmingly 'natural' smell - fecund - and I wondered out loud if you got shaving products that dallied into this part of the scent range - although I had never used it - Roam - was the only one I could initially imagine - as usual, ask a question here and you shall receive wise and sage guidance - thanks T. - @TomG - for your suggestions and particularly P. - @Blademonkey - who sent me the trio of samples to try. Weird - like no other product I have used - scent wise - it did remind me of my olfactory memory of the event - damp earth, grass, wet vegetation but with added wood smoke and campfires. Strange - to be honest - I didn't know initially whether I liked it or not but by the end of the shave it was rather growing on me - the soap base is superb - lathering, during and post - very good indeed. I think I will need to try it again - regrettably - my other half very much didn't take to it - along the lines of - you smell like you have been sitting with your mates in front of an open fire - at the side of a loch - for three days - not changing your clothes - drinking whisky and talking pish - coming back into my company having not had a shower. You can't please everyone. I will use it again - definitely a marmite smell. Thanks again P. A unique shave.
So the second run out of @Barry Giddens loaner Calypso - I probably don't need to tell you how much I like this razor - given the fact that I decided to call her Maria - cue West Side Story music -
'I've just met a girl named Maria
And suddenly that name
Will never be the same
I've just kissed a girl named Maria
And suddenly I've found
How wonderful a sound
I'm - self-evidently - smitten with this razor - I even gave her a name - my smittness - couldn't be deeper. It is the sort of shave you would get from a Cobra if it had a skirt and heels on. So I was thinking - that I would come up with some preposterous story - feigning my own death - in some bizarrely improbable way - so I didn't have to give it back - B. is a sensitive soul and there is no way he would hassle my grieving widow for the return of a razor - surely? Maria and I will never be separated. Then I realised a flaw in my plan - I've just said that all out loud - he's going to be suspicious - he'll read it. HE WILL UNDERSTAND - He's not stupid - WE ARE HIS FRIENDS - NOT LIKE THE OTHER ONES. (Then I came up with the solution - if I write in parenthesis - (like this) - he can't hear me - it will be our secret. Excellent - fool proof solution - let's go for it.) So excellent shave gentlemen - I hope you enjoy........ - what's that crashing sound at the front door of my flat? Someone or somethings are kicking their way in! Hordes of monkeys! (Do monkeys come in hordes? I'm not sure - Mongols come/came in hordes? - a troop, whoop or flange - is that better? A barrel - of course! To be honest I don't think this plan is going to live or die based on one dodgy collective noun.) Monkeys twisted on DANGEROUS DRUGS - they know no mercy - SAVAGE BARBARIAN SIMIANS - they know nothing beyond their next hit - what it is to be HUMAN! - I'm being robbed in my own home! Don't hurt me - take my camera bag - there's twelve grand of gear in there - my watch - take my watch - it cost £500 - you want money - I've got money! Not the face - not the face! They CAN'T BE REASONED WITH! These VILE SWINE are insatiable. It's just as well that I am A FULLY QUALIFIED DOCTOR OF JOURNALISM! - who can touch-type - otherwise this fast flowing narrative would be hard to keep up with in real time. No - please - don't take the razor - not Barry's Calypso - not Maria! Nooooooooooooooo..........
(Job done - he'll fall for that - hook - line and sinker. Yours one and all - I.)