Sorry about your dilemma Doc,
What I do every year to celebrate the birthday of Chief Sitting Bull is to shave like a Native American, Yep, one morning each year I use the same shaving tools as they did long ago.
You probably don't know this, but those people used to pluck their whiskers away. Yep, had special tweezers and everything.
I'll include a link that shows what I bought a while back. These are nice, because I can grab large whiskers clumps at one time. Very fast, compared to pulling out one at a time.
As you might imagine, it's a painless process. Sometimes I almost fall asleep because the shave is so gentle. Give it a try! Oh hell, you're already in the hospital. Perfect! Just ask someone for the large hemostats. That'll do the trick.
Martin
Oh.......also good for nose hair and unibrows.
http://www.ebay.com:80/itm/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&_trksid=p4340.l2557&item=110823910597&nma=true&rt=nc&si=a0KupjaDw1yni%252FmpYGx34WrcjW4%253D&orig_cvip=true&rt=nc