Mental Health Awareness
- Thread starter CjH
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i’m fine how’s you ???
It messes with my head working away all the time.
i’m out of here Friday or Saturday but my boss called me yesterday & wants me in Angola on friday,
Iv basically told him to F*** Off,
He’s not happy but i couldn’t give a shit.
It totally messes with your head being away all the time.
Iv just checked my diary?
iv been home 7 weeks since last November 2022 and most of that was 2 weeks at a time.
It’s not good enough.
Some jobs just don’t give a shit about people & mine is no different.
I sometimes ask myself is all worth it & the answer is always no
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I don't have any MH issues myself - but I have lost a very dear uncle and young brother-in-law to suicide
My wife has been close to it ... she's crashed a few times over work and she never sees it coming (everyone else does)
I know there's a saying about when someone believes their job is important or they are irreplaceable ... that's the start of a breakdown ... but most people's motivation isn't pride in wanting to do a good job (they might kid themselves that it is)
My wife doesn't work 18 hours a day some days because she wants her boss' business to do well (she can tell herself that all she wants) she does it so doesn't get fired, so she can still pay for her flash new motor, or buy the latest handbag, or fancy piece of jangly jewelry, or get her sparkly nails done
My advice for anyone, with even the slightest feeling of depression or stress is to get professional help straight away
My wife has been close to it ... she's crashed a few times over work and she never sees it coming (everyone else does)
I know there's a saying about when someone believes their job is important or they are irreplaceable ... that's the start of a breakdown ... but most people's motivation isn't pride in wanting to do a good job (they might kid themselves that it is)
My wife doesn't work 18 hours a day some days because she wants her boss' business to do well (she can tell herself that all she wants) she does it so doesn't get fired, so she can still pay for her flash new motor, or buy the latest handbag, or fancy piece of jangly jewelry, or get her sparkly nails done
My advice for anyone, with even the slightest feeling of depression or stress is to get professional help straight away
Mood has been low lately. I've been feeling quite bored and uninspired in life at the moment, and it doesn't help with the winter rolling in with the shorter day light.
Feel like a need a challenge in life..even considering a career change, as I don't feel like I'm enjoying working in children's social care any more and it's been grinding me down for a while.
Tell me about it. I work in children's social care as a fostering support worker and I've felt so undervalued and underappreciated for so long. I'm tired of bending over backwards for this job and to support carers when no one recognises what I do. Considering looking for a new job.
Saturday I had an absolute nightmare of a day with two children in foster care. Probably the hardest day I've done in this job (kids were totally out of control and ran riot for 7 hours)...has the social worker emailed me to check how it was or show any a support? As if...
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I'm still off work. Sleep is all over the place but better than it was, and I have done A LOT of sleeping, I am defo exhausted. The physical pain is still there but has come down a notch and I've spent a fortune on chiropractor and osteopath. Annoyingly, I was on my way to a chiropractor appointment and sat stationary in a traffic jam and some utter cockwomble rear ended me. Fortunately no real damage but didn't need it.
I'm sad to admit there have been times I have (passively) wished the struggle would be over. However I've really had to check myself this week because one of my buddies from karate went home after our training session and never woke up. Same age as me (mid 50s) and fit. Real nice guy too, always trained with his 12 year old son, who found him. Terrible business, and it hasn't sunk in yet. He would have been opening a new class today. We're going to try to get the council to let us plant a tree in his name.
I'm sad to admit there have been times I have (passively) wished the struggle would be over. However I've really had to check myself this week because one of my buddies from karate went home after our training session and never woke up. Same age as me (mid 50s) and fit. Real nice guy too, always trained with his 12 year old son, who found him. Terrible business, and it hasn't sunk in yet. He would have been opening a new class today. We're going to try to get the council to let us plant a tree in his name.
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I thought I would check in on people again as it's been a while and would be good to hear how people who have posted before are now doing, plus invite anyone who hasn't spoken yet but would benefit from it.
Christmas is fast approaching and it can be a stressful or lonely time for many
Christmas is fast approaching and it can be a stressful or lonely time for many
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I’ve been shit lately, really shit. Falling down a lot due to my arthritic knees combined with the unbalancing effects of acute anxiety. The dark nights don’t help and my lack of activity has meant my weight has crept back up. Whereas six years ago, I could drop down and do 45 press ups, I doubt I’d manage ten now. Going for a pee is hard work. Money is shit, debts here and there and I’ve got to the stage I can’t look after myself for more than a couple of days on my own.
And it’s bloody hard to write this here but it got so bad last Tuesday after yet another fall that I took an overdose in an attempt to end it all. Couldn’t even get that right! Not so much a cold, calm and calculated effort but more a spur of the moment attempt due to an overwhelming need for the pain in my knees and between my ears to stop once and for all. I was due to take pain meds and as I usually decant my blister packs into an old pill bottle, I wolfed the bloody lot. Nigh on 100 Gabapentin.
So blue light to A&E after my Fiancée discovered what I’d done and I thought they’d pump my stomach then section me. Nope. Vitals taken regularly and bloods plus constant monitoring and I never even conked out! It would have been a very different story if I’d had a drink and popped a good few Co-codomol too
Picking up a bit now but still down there. Just so fucking ashamed I put my loved ones through it all.
As a close mate of mine said to me, it wasn’t so much that I wanted to kill myself but that I couldn’t cope with the pain of being alive and wanted said pain to stop. Big difference. A sudden and massive, overpowering rush of negative emotion post-fall.
Sod that, I’ve too much to lose and so much to live for. Just got to find a better way of keeping on, keeping on.
Sorry if any of this offends or is too close to the bone. I can hardly believe I’ve actually typed it here but there you are.
It pains me to read of others’ woes here too but it strangely comforts me in that I know I’m not alone and you all are still here, still fighting.
Right, I’m back off under my rock.
And it’s bloody hard to write this here but it got so bad last Tuesday after yet another fall that I took an overdose in an attempt to end it all. Couldn’t even get that right! Not so much a cold, calm and calculated effort but more a spur of the moment attempt due to an overwhelming need for the pain in my knees and between my ears to stop once and for all. I was due to take pain meds and as I usually decant my blister packs into an old pill bottle, I wolfed the bloody lot. Nigh on 100 Gabapentin.
So blue light to A&E after my Fiancée discovered what I’d done and I thought they’d pump my stomach then section me. Nope. Vitals taken regularly and bloods plus constant monitoring and I never even conked out! It would have been a very different story if I’d had a drink and popped a good few Co-codomol too
Picking up a bit now but still down there. Just so fucking ashamed I put my loved ones through it all.
As a close mate of mine said to me, it wasn’t so much that I wanted to kill myself but that I couldn’t cope with the pain of being alive and wanted said pain to stop. Big difference. A sudden and massive, overpowering rush of negative emotion post-fall.
Sod that, I’ve too much to lose and so much to live for. Just got to find a better way of keeping on, keeping on.
Sorry if any of this offends or is too close to the bone. I can hardly believe I’ve actually typed it here but there you are.
It pains me to read of others’ woes here too but it strangely comforts me in that I know I’m not alone and you all are still here, still fighting.
Right, I’m back off under my rock.
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Ah shit man, sorry to read this fella. I will send you a PM soon my friend.
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You are certainly not alone G, you can always be sure of that, this time of year doesn't help matters when you feel the pressure to be festive and often this is the last thing you are feeling.
I found a trip to A&E a few years ago after my housemate found me consuming a shit load of morphine extremely embarrassing for many reasons and apparently I've got such a tolerance for morphine although it would have dropped an elephant it was never going to drop me!
Pain is horrible, it wears you out and if the drugs don't work what are you to do!
You can still do ten press-ups on a good day, that's ten more than I can do at the moment G, and it's been 15 or so years since I could do 45 of them!
Yes you have got too much to live for so find a way to keep going on, you will have good days and bad days I know but the spring is just around the corner and your garden will need some attention.
Chin up soldier.
Paul.
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Graeme, so sorry to read this. I've been wondering where and how you were because I have always enjoyed your posts on here, (enjoyed the funny ones about Matron, obviously nothing to enjoy in reading this one). I totally get what you say about the difference between wanting to kill yourself and just wanting the pain to end. It's where you end up when you see no way out. I've often passively thought that life would be easier if I was dead (I know) and sometimes thought well I will not do that but perhaps one day I won't wake up. Right up until my friend didn't wake up. I feel like a right twat for having even had those thoughts, but you can't very easily control what thoughts pop up, only how you react to them. Seeing the sadness at Andy's funeral of his kids and his elderly parents as well as us from the karate club really brought it home, you don't want to be the hole in someone's life. Please ping me a DM if you want to chat mate. And keep fighting.
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G, don't forget, Gabapentin side effects can include despair and suicidal ideation. So if that's what you're experiencing, firstly don't beat yourself up, it might be the meds tipping you over the edge. Also, your GP needs to be aware, as it might be that they need to try something else instead of gbp for the pain.
Well I have found a new job in a nicer part of the country starting January. I am moving to the Lake District from the Chilterns, well High Wycombe. I wasn't enjoying my current job which created too much anxiety. I also suffer from diabetic neuropathy, which causes constant pain. The most annoying issue is that my GP, whichever one it is always declines pain and neuropathy medication requests.
I hope everyone has an enjoyable festive season.
I hope everyone has an enjoyable festive season.