Got done for speeding.........

mattlad

mattlad

Joined
Sunday March 6, 2011
I was driving down the A1 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait.

The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic patronizing smirk, asked:

"Runway too short?"

To which I replied, "I'm late for work."

To which he asked, "What do you do?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.

The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher?? And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."


Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?"

To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."



Speeding ticket: £105.00
Court costs: £45
Look on copper's face: Priceless.
 
I wish you hadn't mentioned speeding. I've been driving for 50 years and dread to ask to see my complete record since my first offence at 19. It's usually in the 37 to 42mph range although I did once record 92mph - a long time ago.
 
Fido said:
I wish you hadn't mentioned speeding. I've been driving for 50 years and dread to ask to see my complete record since my first offence at 19. It's usually in the 37 to 42mph range although I did once record 92mph - a long time ago.
Click to expand...

Just for future reference, the next time you're (if there is a next time), caught for speeding, never admit the offence at the roadside, just accept the ticket.

Then, when the documentation comes through the post, do not fill it in, send it back with a covering letter stating that you believe you were not speeding, and ask to see the current calibration certificate for that particular camera. By law these cameras have to be calibrated and checked for accuracy every three months, however the process of calibration is time consuming and expensive, and many cameras are not calibrated regularly. If the camera which photographed you has an out of date certificate you can demand the ticket is cancelled, which it will be.

I have successfully challenged like this and won two out of three times.

If they send an up to date calibration certificate to you, pay the fine with a cheque, and pay £1 extra. When the cheque for £1 is sent back to you, don't cash it, simply throw it away. This means that your account can never be balanced, and until it is the points cannot be added to your licence, it's a quirk with the accounting software the police use. There was talk of them closing this loophole, I don't know whether they have or not now, but this was certainly the case about twelve months ago.
 
Professor Blighty said:
Fido said:
I wish you hadn't mentioned speeding. I've been driving for 50 years and dread to ask to see my complete record since my first offence at 19. It's usually in the 37 to 42mph range although I did once record 92mph - a long time ago.
Click to expand...

Just for future reference, the next time you're (if there is a next time), caught for speeding, never admit the offence at the roadside, just accept the ticket.

Then, when the documentation comes through the post, do not fill it in, send it back with a covering letter stating that you believe you were not speeding, and ask to see the current calibration certificate for that particular camera. By law these cameras have to be calibrated and checked for accuracy every three months, however the process of calibration is time consuming and expensive, and many cameras are not calibrated regularly. If the camera which photographed you has an out of date certificate you can demand the ticket is cancelled, which it will be.

I have successfully challenged like this and won two out of three times.

If they send an up to date calibration certificate to you, pay the fine with a cheque, and pay £1 extra. When the cheque for £1 is sent back to you, don't cash it, simply throw it away. This means that your account can never be balanced, and until it is the points cannot be added to your licence, it's a quirk with the accounting software the police use. There was talk of them closing this loophole, I don't know whether they have or not now, but this was certainly the case about twelve months ago.
Click to expand...

Mmmm!
http://www.motorlawanswers.co.uk/speed-camera-check-calibration-certificate-expired/

The £1 check thing is something I've never heard of, therefore cannot comment on. Police accounting software? You are not fined or have points imposed by the police, they merely report the facts.

My point is 30mph speed limits are imposed because they save lives in areas designated for that speed. Hit someone, a child, at nearer 40mph and you won't need to worry about your speed for a wee while.

Regards
 
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