Bloody women!

Jeltz

Jeltz

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3,188
Location
Wiltshire
Its November which means my Mrs is getting all excited about the forthcoming festivities and already I'm being accused of being an old Scrooge.

After 17 years together she should know that the reason I hate it is because my mother was just the same and died Christmas 1992 (pulmonary embolism), year after year Mrs J has been told why I get depressed at this time of year but seems to be incapable of retaining fact.

Once Christmas Day gets here I will have passed through my depressed mood and am just about able to enjoy it, but I don't want anything to do with the run up. Actually I say enjoy it very often I spend Christmas day in bed ill, which I always put down to being too busy to get ill any other time of year but I cant think that being down has a positive effect on the immune system.

Bloody women, why cant she just remember and leave me to it. Inevitably I will remind her and she will then spend the next few weeks being dismissive of me feeling down. She suffered badly with post natal depression for over 6 months after the birth of both of our children and that was far worse than anything I might experience and she managed to get through it so I need to get on with it and not feel bad.....

Roll on Boxing Day <7 weeks now.

Disclaimer: This post comes to you from the bottom of a fairly large whisky glass.
 
I can understand how you feel. I do think it most unfortunate that there are people who have anniversaries of a sad event at the time when others are gearing up to jollifications.
 
Counting down from seven weeks in and deciding you are going to be fine on Boxing day?There are really other issues here so move the Xmas celebrations to Boxing day.

I did ask the wife about how she would feel if I behaved in the same way. She said it's difficult because she wouldn't want to diminish the woman's memory but after such a time she may feel some resentment because I'd decided to place the memory of my deceased mother before my immediate family.

If your children have only experienced Xmas with you feeling that way that's just a shame.
 
antdad said:
Counting down from seven weeks in and deciding you are going to be fine on Boxing day?There are really other issues here so move the Xmas celebrations to Boxing day.

I did ask the wife about how she would feel if I behaved in the same way. She said it's difficult because she wouldn't want to diminish the woman's memory but after such a time she may feel some resentment because I'd decided to place the memory of my deceased mother before my immediate family.

If your children have only experienced Xmas with you feeling that way that's just a shame.
Click to expand...

Well I did post that while having taken on board a fair slug of magic water. :roll:

In reality I'm pretty much fine by mid December the actual anniversary is the 28th and I barely even think about it on the day, its the next 3 weeks which are the worst. The issue is that I just want her to remember that I get low at this time of year and leave me to it without accusations of being a miserable git etc. Its not a choice its just that the run up to Christmas serves as a trigger to rekindle feelings of grief and guilt that I could do so little to help my father through it.

My role as a dad with the school carol concert and nativity, the cubs Christmas concert and such like is fine, as I'm enjoying it from the point of view of a proud father. The only bit that choked me up last years was when the School mixed in some non Christmas songs and changed the lyrics to Robbie Williams Angels to "I'm loving my mum instead" and has the parents sing along..... :roll:
 
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