Where am I going wrong?

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt (Have to agree about the 2014 re-formulation though...don't get me started!)
 
OK JohnnyO was at least trying to be constructive...but Dave, your hard water suggestion makes me feel like I'm being patronised now...and to think I came here for help (BTW...what would you suggest to get a good lather with hard water?)

Loads of suggestions on the Forum about that. Some swear by baking soda, others use bottled water or distilled water, microwaves, salt, ultrasonic vibrators and such like. Some like to take maybe 38 minutes to get it just so. Take your pick. Me I just rub my brush on the soap then rub it on my face then I shave.
 
Well they do say that every good house needs strong foundations and the foundation to your shave is the prep. That cif stuff is letting you down badly; just when you need a shave ready face you put all those artificial scents and additives on it. What you need is this:

All pure, all natural and the perfect build up to get the very best out of those expensive tools you'll be using.

Happy Shaves!

PS Once you're comfy using the ammonia, try mixing things up a bit by adding a drop or two of Domestos - when those two get together the scent is to die for.
 

Are you being silly now? I'm sure that's not available in the UK.
 

Nice suggestion...there's always a diamond in the rough out there...you've revitalised my belief in this forum...there's at least one person out there with a full understanding of my plight! Thanks London_Peculiar (BTW I'd rethink that name if I were you...some might think you're off your trolley...'London'? really?)