I have decided to grow a moustache. I am one month in. My partner is no longer complaining. However, she has suggested that I create a Poirot moustache rather than the Magnum P.I. version I was aiming for. Any ideas how to style a Suchet Poirot moustache as he wore an artificial moustache when filming...

Silly Suffolk
I should think it's very difficult and time-consuming. I have had a handlebar moustache a la Billy Childish, but bigger, for years, and all it needs is the ends to be shortened and the tea-strainer part cut back from time to time.

I recall seeing M. Poirot retiring to bed, wearing a moustache training hairnet, However, I doubt that a moustache of that sort can be kept thus without being almost solid wax.

I didn't know, until now, that the Belgian moustache was a falsie. That being so, a Chaplin or Groucho Marx paint-on type, but with embellishments, would be far less trouble. Perhaps you could make a convincing case for a Magnum style, with sound reasons like no wax on pillows and thus less laundry, no need for late night maintenance which allows a quicker time to bed, and a greater likelihood of keeping a more masculine and less affected upper lip appendage.

Luckily, the male beard and moustache are capable of endless growth, adaptation and removal, which should allow you to try and either dismiss or persevere with styles.
It's a close call, but I think I'd rather be compared to Tom Selleck than Poirot the Slug Balancer Pursuivant. If SWMBO insists you augment your crime fighting powers with continental style, you'll be wanting some EJ moustache wax, currently half price at a paltry five of her majesty's English beer tokens at Agent Shave.
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