JOTD..... (Joke of the day)

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A woman goes in to a supermarket and buys a small salad and some cottage cheese, she goes to the checkout.

The man in front of her is paralytic. He looks at her and her food and says, 'you must be single',

Furious, she says, 'this is 2022, men can eat healthily, why do you think I am single?

"Because you are bloody ugly."
 

Gairdner

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The kids in are in class at school and wee Jenny is crying to the teacher as she is bleeding between the legs. Teacher calms her down, explains the story and asks if someone can take her home. Her grandparents are deid and Maw and Paw both work so the teacher gets the daftest kid, Paddy, to chum her home.

Paddy is helluva curious as to what’s wrong with wee Jenny but naturally she’s too shy to tell him. Now Paddy might be thick but he’s got plenty o’ natural Irish charm so eventually she tells him.”Never in life!”, cries Paddy, clearly shocked. He asks to see but of course wee Jenny is having none of it. However, Paddy turns on the charm again and she eventually agrees.

Paddy then gets down on all fours and peers up wee Jenny’s skirt to see no knickers but a gaping red wound. “My god!”, he exclaims. “I know what’s wrong with you, Jenny.”, he tells her. “What is it Paddy?”, she nervously asks.

Paddy replies, “Someone’s cut yer cock off!!!”
 
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