I'm getting old

I have a friend near where I live who was bitten by a Brown Recluse spider, an exceptionally nasty little SOB spider for whose venom there is no antidote and causes necrosis of the flesh. Some small children and elderly die from its bite. My friend almost lost his leg at age 37 and was in good shape. Do not Google photos of the wounds before eating. o_O

Then there are the rattlers (rattlesnakes) we have here. Big ones. I mean some get humongous!! :oops:

Edit: I forgot the Fire ants!!! I have been bitten twice and Holy sheet do they burn/hurt!!
 
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I grow old . . . I grow old . . .
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behing? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
That's actually uncanny. I remember when I was in primary school I wrote a poem where I rhymed beach with peach, and my teacher gave me a bad mark My efforts were probably less insightful regarding aging, as I was only 9 or 10... but I've never forgotten. But then, if it's good enough for the Stranglers, who was my teacher to complain? And that song was released around the time.
 
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Edit: I forgot the Fire ants!!! I have been bitten twice and Holy sheet do they burn/hurt!!
Not big ants, so it's a bit of a girly story ...

When we moved into our current house, the garden had been left for too long and the lawn had grown up through meadow into two foot plus height. I didn't have a strimmer or scythe and so set about it with garden sheers. Fed up of bending over, once I was about a yard into it, I knelt down and proceeded to hew the grass, collecting it and bunching it behind me.

I was wearing shorts ...

... and unbeknown to me, a rapidly increasing and dramatic number of ants were making their way into my nether-regions! After the first twinge, the second, third and fourth and more came in quick succession, having me initially hopping around slapping my thighs and crotch! Very shortly afterwards, I was leaping around with my shorts and pants off, whirling both maniacally at what I could now see were very angry ants.

I should also say that we back into a hill so our garden is up above roof height and so my funky dancing would have been quite visible to the whole valley, which thankfully is more cows and sheep than people.
 
I had a similar thing a few years ago when I was in my mid 50s. A tiny bite on my ankle while mowing the lawn ended in a 3 day stay in hospital on an antibiotic drip, with a nurse drawing around the infection with a marker pen every hour as it spread to cover my whole lower leg. I was told at the time that it was a similar type of infection to that "flesh eating" bug and if I hadn't got medical attention when I did then I could have lost my leg. Fortunately it cleared up with no lasting ill effects other than a slight dent in my leg! Just shows that even in this relatively safe country nasty things are lurking.
That's no way to talk about cartridge razor users.
 
No poisonous snakes or spiders in Northern Canada. Winters are too cold. Mosquitoes and blackflies in the spring will chew on you, but infections are rare. Ticks can carry Lyme disease. Nasty, but curable. About the only things that can hurt you in the wilderness, besides the cold, are moose and bears. I have seen many bears up close; they run away almost as fast as I do in the opposite direction. Moose are unpredictable. They stomp things they don't like. They weigh between 800-1200lbs., and dwarf a horse. People are killed every year by hitting moose on the road. Their legs are so long, the car/truck takes their legs out from under them, then the body comes through the windscreen into the cab, all 1000 lbs of it. Usually fatal to the occupants of the car/truck ( and the moose).

Here's a funny (true) story.
A trapper friend rounded a corner on a bush road during winter on his trap line. There was a moose standing on the road. He hit the brakes and slid sideways into the moose, knocking the legs out from underneath the moose, which fell into the open box of the truck. The slide ended with the truck plowing through the snowbank into the ditch. It all happened in slomo as he wasn't going fast, and snow made the road slippery. The moose was relatively uninjured, but was now trying to get to its feet in a very slippery snow covered steel truck box. My friend dove for the floor of the cab, expecting to see a hoof coming through the back window of the cab. After several minutes of hooves bashing and crashing, everything got quiet. A quick peek showed that the moose managed to get out and buggered off. The box of the truck looked like a grenade went off inside it. Huge dents from the inside. Truck windows survived, as did the driver and the moose.
 
Welcome to older age, I’m in my 40s now, the thing that nobody wants to tell you is your body will change as you age, best start looking out for that.

Live and learn from this one @Boycie83 sooner rather than later you will have to drop this 'Best looking....etc etc etc' personna and live with the fact father time as just just hit you with the ugly stick.

I enjoy being 60 and happy to live with the fact I am an unsightly old twat
 
Live and learn from this one @Boycie83 sooner rather than later you will have to drop this 'Best looking....etc etc etc' personna and live with the fact father time as just just hit you with the ugly stick.

I enjoy being 60 and happy to live with the fact I am an unsightly old twat
+1 on that :rolleyes:
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Me now
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Live and learn from this one @Boycie83 sooner rather than later you will have to drop this 'Best looking....etc etc etc' personna and live with the fact father time as just just hit you with the ugly stick.

I enjoy being 60 and happy to live with the fact I am an unsightly old twat
Father time is a twisted fuck, when your younger you think to yourself old age is so far away….and I’m young ha ha ha ……..but Father time is a sneaky little shit bag coz before you know it you start transforming into that old person you’ve been denying is in existence via your mirror.
 
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Yeah, getting up from the couch is a planned manever resulting in grunts and clicks and pops from knees.
From someone who used to carry barrels of beer up 5 flights of stairs at a quick sprint in his 20s, that's what I get for working hard when I was young. Boo hiss. At least crutches are cheap. :LOL:
 
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