- Joined
- Friday July 10, 2009
- Location
- Little Feckwittering-on-the-Moor
A bloke walks in to a pub with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then he jumps on to the pool table, grabs one of the balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
The barman screams at the bloke, "Did you see what your monkey did?"
The bloke says, "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the bloke. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for everything."
The man finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and his pet monkey is with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his arse, pulls it out and eats it. The barman is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks. "No, what?" replied the bloke.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his arse, pulled it out and ate it!" said the barman.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the bloke. He still eats everything in sight but, ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first."
The barman screams at the bloke, "Did you see what your monkey did?"
The bloke says, "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the bloke. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for everything."
The man finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate and leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar again, and his pet monkey is with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his arse, pulls it out and eats it. The barman is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks. "No, what?" replied the bloke.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his arse, pulled it out and ate it!" said the barman.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the bloke. He still eats everything in sight but, ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures everything first."
