Matron, tell him it’s not a Raleigh but a Pashley and yes, it has 3 speed Sturmey Archer gears, hub brake et al.
And Matron says that colonic irrigation is good for you, haha! Hmph, though I’m not sure about having one’s back passage scoured out with a scrubbing brush and caustic soda. I mean the flagstones just won’t take it…
Matron! Where the devil are my bicycle clips? Ruddy woman’s a menace…