The next time your face is on fire...

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595
...and your toes are curling up with the pain, remember this excruciating little joke I made up while shaving this morning - it might just be enough to take your mind off the agony for a minute or two:

" Why do policemen hate shaving so much?
Because they keep nicking themselves." :shock:
 
Those unmarked blades are called Israeli Personna's and they are perfectly fine unlike you'e jokes. :lol:

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Nice one Nape! You may not know it but TSR has its very own boy in blue, Rangers62. I'm sure if he could track you down he'd arrest you for that one.

Your gag inspired me to write a joke, though it is little more obscure and requires not only knowledge of Italian shaving products but of Muppet double-acts. Well, here goes...

Q. What is Gonzo's favourite pre/post shaving product?

A. Why Pro-Rizzo of course! :lol:

:oops: I'll get my coat. :oops:
 
Pig Cat said:
Nice one Nape! You may not know it but TSR has its very own boy in blue, Rangers62. I'm sure if he could track you down he'd arrest you for that one.

Your gag inspired me to write a joke, though it is little more obscure and requires not only knowledge of Italian shaving products but of Muppet double-acts. Well, here goes...

Q. What is Gonzo's favourite pre/post shaving product?

A. Why Pro-Rizzo of course! :lol:

:oops: I'll get my coat. :oops:

:shock:

:shock:

:lol:

Thanks Pig Cat, not bad. If you're looking for your coat, I'm holding it for you...outside of the shaving room...from where I was very politely ejected earlier on. Never mind, let's go grab a kebab. :hungrig

On a less jocular note, I think this shaving lark is slowly turning into a monster. Not content with frittering away the kids' dinner money (because sandwiches are nice too) on 'essential' kit I-absolutely-must-own-otherwise-I'm-not-a-proper-shaver, I've noticed myself beginning to indulge in a rather sinister, filthy little habit of late. Checking out guys. To be more specific, their shorn faces. It happened again tonight at my brother-in-law's party.

This is not what I signed up for. Seriously though, I've even been toying with the idea of asking my good lady to start shaving her armpits with my Merkur HD and TOBS Rose just to see the results, and in the vain hope it might prompt her to going halfers with me on new creams and on the odd razor or two. That's a bit bonkers by anyone's book, surely? I'm aware this forum isn't intended as a 12-step programme, but I felt compelled to share my experience with you this evening.

Nape
 
You know the feeling when you've just bared your soul and really wished you hadn't? :oops:

Anyway, got another shaving-related gag to take my mind off of face-watching:

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? (Can you see what it is yet?)
A: To buy some new feathers!

Tried explaining this one to my wife. But she really, REALLY wasn't interested.
 
Ha! Ha! This is turning in to a great comedy thread. Boab, should this be in the Jokes section? Don't answer that.

Actually, the funniest thing is hearing about Nape's shameful secrets! :lol:

Sshhhh. Don't tell anyone but most of us are guilty of that too around here.
 
A couple more shave-related beauts before the mods move this thread or put it out of its misery completely (probably more likely):

What do you call a gang of DE enthusiasts after a night on the curry?
Trumpers.

Where do Yorkshiremen go after a bad shave?
Tabac t'basics.

Knock, knock
Who's there?
It's your wife. Kindly get the feck out of the bathroom so I can have a shower.

:roll:
 
Time for another one!............... :roll:

Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Would Gillette
Would Gillette who?
Would Gillette me in, it's f-f-freezing out here!?
 
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