And for this most beautiful of Easter Sundays I have given my shave the theme 'Lord of the sinks - The return of the King'
King Ikon I
The Crown of Prince Polsilver of Lodz
Dark Prince Razorock
Grand Duke Arlington (Not to be confused with Dr Arlington the purveyor of elixirs for fine shaves)
King Fig y nutmeg II de EDC of Spain
and his accompanying wife
Queen Fig y nutmeg de hidratante
The Duke of Styptic - Surgeon royal
'My people! my people!' Cried the king standing by the royal tap (and not being an upmarket public house)
'I gather you here as among our personage we have an improper claimant to the head of the kingdom of the sink; for Prince Oneblade has falsely laid claim upon the crown. He is not brought to lead you the people by heredity, or by lineage, but by being created using modern computer modelling techniques, precise measuring instruments and with wealth. The crown is bequeathed by those with a razor sharp mind and who wield the blade with wisdom and strength'
'It is all Fake news. Fake news' shouted a rather large man at the back in golfing attire, waving an 8 iron and sporting a strange haircut.
And so spoke King Ikon
'Bring forth the crown of Prince Polsiver of Lodz and place it upon my top cap for I shall rule these sinks and their waters with honesty and integrity. I may shed blood but I give you my word to shave you closely and keep your sideburns at the length you so wish. I will do so with care and attention but I cannot lay promise tears and weeping shall be cast aside. I shall bring happiness , but above all I shall bring stability to this kingdom of the sink and those smooth baby's bottoms this nation so yearns for'.
And so the crown was placed upon the king's top cap and there was an instant relief among the land of the shower room and the small nation of Sinkland. Together the Grand Duke Arlington and the Dark Prince of Razorock whipped up a most plentiful lather and King Ikon I took his mighty blade to hand and removed those dark shadows which cast their blackened ways at 5 O'Clock (one only presumes by 6 O'Clock they are even darker than dark). Joy was brought across the land and with three passes a calm, smooth and tranquil feeling was felt by the people. It was not without the shedding of blood, but nothing which the Duke of Styptic could not qualm and prevent further uprising. The King and Queen of Spain brought forth gifts of Fig and of Nutmeg and a breath of fresh scented air wafted and weaved among the people. Sinkland welcomed it's new and righteous king
'The King has returned. Long live the King! long live the King!'
Lurking in the back of the cupboard Prince Oneblade sat upon his stainless steel throne created by CNC (manufacturers of fine thrones to erroneous leaders) with his cohort Prince Feather FHS-10.
'One day all this will be ours again. Bide your time my single edged friend and we shall be elevated to our true and rightful status. One day, one day'
And they all lived happily ever after.............
'Hmmmmmph' said General Colonial. 'I feel a Coup D'etat in the air', and he sat upon his shelf pontificating his next move
I do apologise to all for this absolute rubbish in the name of an SOTD, but a couple of hours being plagued by granddaughters to read more stories really does bring the child out in grandfathers. Or at least it does in my case. God bless their cotton socks, their belief in unicorns and the love of anything which appears on CBBC including that curse Mr Tumbles. I will guarantee half an hour of his TV show will have adverse affects upon ones mind. It should be preceded with a health warning. And I thought the Teletubbies were bad. Bill and Ben anyone?
Have a great week ahead and may you have a most wonderful bank holiday.
