PIF - if you make me laugh **May be NSFW**

JEWISH SEX

No matter what this husband did in bed, his wife never achieved an
orgasm.

Since a Jewish wife is entitled
to sexual pleasure, they decide to consult their Rabbi.

The Rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and
makes the following suggestion: 'Hire a strapping young man.

While the two of you are making love, have the young man
wave a towel over you. That will help your wife fantasize and should
bring on an orgasm.'

They go home and follow the Rabbi's advice.
They hire a handsome young man and he waves a towel over
them as they make love. It does not help and the wife is still
unsatisfied.

Perplexed, they go back to the Rabbi.

'Okay,' he says to the husband, 'Try it reversed. Have the young man
make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them.'

Once again, they follow the Rabbi's advice They go home and hire, the
same strapping young man.

The young man gets into bed with the wife and the husband
waves the towel.

The young man gets to work with great enthusiasm and soon
she has an enormous, room-shaking, ear-splitting screaming orgasm.

The husband smiles, looks at the young man and says to
him triumphantly, 'See that, you schmuck? THAT'S how you wave a
towel!!'
 
Err . . . I'd forgotten about this. OK, the kosher Pigcat is winning so far.

I'll keep it open a wee bit longer in case anyone's got anything better. I did say clean and non-racist so it seems ironic to award the PIF to a racy Jewish joke!

Although maybe not if told by a racy Jew? PIg Cat tell the truth: are you the useless husband or the strapping young man in the story? I know you're not the rabbi . . . . Speaking of which, I do keep a lucky rabbi's foot on my keyring, but so far I just keep losing my keys even though it's a size ten. I think it came from a wandering Jew. Well, he ain't wandering anymore, obviously. Cured him of that. Just wish I'd cured that foot - it's starting to smell. I gave the other one to a friend who needed some guidance and direction, it's his foot ruler: he spins it and goes wherever it points -- beats GPS -- takes descisions too by means of eeny meeny miny mo on the toes. The Middle Ages' equivalent of the multi-tool gadget. And seeing as he's middle aged it's just right for him. He keeps it in a sock, and tried to sync it with his iTunes library. It is digital, although some of the digits are falling off.

Any last orders, Gentlemen? Ring-a-ding. Jokes please, bar closing (or "bar lowered")
 
Rev-O said:
Err . . . I'd forgotten about this. OK, the kosher Pigcat is winning so far.

I'll keep it open a wee bit longer in case anyone's got anything better. I did say clean and non-racist so it seems ironic to award the PIF to a racy Jewish joke!

Any last orders, Gentlemen? Ring-a-ding.

I am Jewish so I wasn't being racist (or was I? Who knows these days!!) Also, Ollie is being the opposite of racist by choosing me...er...I think? Plus I'm also an atheist, so that's even more confusing... :?

Ollie, if I win I promise to donate everything to the Platform for Integrating Gentile Creationists with Atheist Torah Scholars or P.I.G.C.A.T.S for short! :lol:
 
Ha ha! You posted while I was editing my post! What a lively forum we are!

As you can see, I added:



" PIg Cat tell the truth: are you the useless husband or the strapping young man in the story? I know you're not the rabbi . . . . Speaking of which, I do keep a lucky rabbi's foot on my keyring, but so far I just keep losing my keys even though it's a size ten. I think it came from a wandering Jew. Well, he ain't wandering anymore, obviously. Cured him of that. Just wish I'd cured that foot - it's starting to smell. I gave the other one to a friend who needed some guidance and direction, it's his foot ruler: he spins it and goes wherever it points -- beats GPS -- takes descisions too by means of eeny meeny miny mo on the toes. The Middle Ages' equivalent of the multi-tool gadget. And seeing as he's middle aged it's just right for him. He keeps it in a sock, and tried to sync it with his iTunes library. It is digital, although some of the digits are falling off"
 
Blimey Ollie, you're on fire today! You've got the makings of a stand-up routine going on!

Alas I am probably the husband in the story, although at the moment SWMBO is definitely more interested in snoozing than canoodling. Or should that be Knaidling*? Boy number two is not sleeping too well, so instead of me getting it up three times a night I am just getting up without any 'it'. :cry:

*Jewish dumplings, very tasty in chicken soup!
 
A labourer and a crane Driver working on a building site, The labourer says to the crane driver "what do you do when you want a piss" The crane driver says i walk out on the Gib and by the time it reaches the bottom it's like rain, as a matter of fact i want one now, so up they go, the crane driver starts to piss, and a sudden gust of wind blows him off.

It comes to the coroners inquest and the coroner says why did this man jump off the end of the Gib, he had no money or marital troubles.

The Foreman puts his hand up and says i think i know why sir, the coroner say why, I think he was sex mad, the coroner says how do you make that out.

Well he came flying passed me with his prick in his hand shouting cunt.
 
I asked my wife what she was afraid of. She said, "I'm afraid you might leave me for a younger girl, for a blonde, for someone more exciting than me. I'm afraid I might end up single and alone in my later years, and die a spinster and unloved. And what are you afraid of?"

I answered, "bears."
 
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