A man is sat in a bar on his own, when in walks Hamish, a 6ft8 monster of a Scotsman, who's known for his violent temper. Hamish orders his customary six double whiskys, with a pint of Whitbread Trophy to wash it down. He downs the whiskys, one after the other, wipes his mouth on his sleeve and turns to the man saying, "Hey yuu, waatch ma pint"! "Aam gaan fer a pee"!
While he's gone, a smartly dressed black woman comes into the bar and orders a glass of wine. While she's waiting, she takes a sip of Hamish's precious pint. The man starts to panic. "Why did you do that?" he cries "Hamish is gona kill both of us" The woman says, "I'm not scared of any Scots giant", drinking more of his pint, before getting up on the bar, squatting down and breaking wind over the drink. "That's how scared I am!" She takes her drink and sits down. When Hamish returns from the toilet he goes utterly bonkers! "Whuu draank ma drenk!", he bellowed, inspecting closer to see that lipstick and a farty smell had been left all over the glass. He grabbed the man by the throat, demanding to be told who had done this. "I...i....it was her! She did it, the black girl over there...!"
Hamish put the man down and strode over to where the woman was sat
"Heey yuu!" he yelled, foaming at the mouth with rage. "Did yuu fart in maa Whitbread?"
"Oh no love" the woman said.............."I'm Tessa Sanderson!"...
