Best music opening line of all time

Sam Stone came home,
To his wife and family
After serving in the conflict overseas.
And the time that he served,
Had shattered all his nerves,
And left a little shrapnel in his knee.
But the morphine eased the pain,
And the grass grew round his brain,
And gave him all the confidence he lacked,
With a Purple Heart and a monkey on his back.
 
I love a good bum on a woman it makes my day,
To me it's palpable proof of God's existence a
posteriori.
(Jake Thackray 'On Again On Again')

Beat that for a combination of earthy vulgarity, sophisticated wit and a Latin pun, all in a couple of lines!
 
Daddy, I'm afraid, won't you stay a little while?
Keep me safe 'cause there's monsters right outside
Daddy, please don't go, I don't wanna be alone
'Cause the second that you're gone they're gonna know
Before he went to bed he grabbed my hand and said

 
'You've got a great car
Yeah, what's wrong with it today?
I used to have one too
Baby, oh, come and have a look
I really love your hairdo, yeah
I'm glad you like mine too
See we're lookin' pretty cool
Look at ya'


'Bohemian Like You' - The Dandy Warhols - I
 
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