Life choices.. (advice?)

I think David asked a good question, for starters. Mexico is different to (say) Argentina. Europe is easier to reach (if needed) and the U.S. is next door. This can potentially make a difference.

Max, seems the world is your oyster - and your home. You've grown up by having to move round the globe few times. You're accustomed to different cultures and languages. You feel 'at home' living in such a context. I see no significant reason why you wouldn't want to take another step, another new challenge. For you the challenges are not just 'career-related', moving up the corporate ladder or whatever else. They are also cultural, filmy, they are part of the education which you are acquiring from life as you grow older.

Taking account your age it appears it is not that easy for you to 'settle down', at least yet. What you appear to be in is a journey to discover more, inside but also outside you. How will this journey will continue nobody knows. Seems it has yet to reach an end, at least yet.

Moving around like that (few years here, then few more years there, etc.) has a cost attached to it, though. This cost is personal, and in theory needs to be compensated by the financial, housing and other benefits one gets while away from 'home'. This is the general rule. In some particular professions, there are some 'standards' which are adhered by employers. I heard recently, for example, that if you work for Microsoft you don't get 'expat' status when abroad. Don't know if this is true or if it was different some years back.

I am in shipping, and in our industry it is uncommon for someone to go and work as an expat on a 1, 2 or 3 year contract without substantial compensation plus housing, car, phone, yearly travel allowance (usually in premium cabins) and occasionally with international school for kids paid for. This is the standard, and still, life abroad is psychologically hard enough if you don't have a spouse or family with you. A colleague who used to work in the Arab Emirates used to say that expat life in the Middle East is like a scale: from one side you have the cash, and from the other you have a pile of s**t - and you're obliged to balance that.

There's a reason for companies paying larger amounts of money and benefits for relocation of such type. They will never give you less that what they're gonna take away from you - just remember that. Yes, Mexico will be fun. You'll be fine with the language (if you're not fluent in it already), and it'll be another significant step in getting to know the world around you but also yourself.

But beware - it's not just that. You're not 25 years old. You're supposed to be building up a career as well (unless you have other plans, of course). You're supposed to be acquiring skills and experience that will gradually elevate you to another level professionally few years down the line. You need to keep that in mind and look after it with care. Mobility is a great asset, build upon it while you get to know the world and yourself as well. This is the opportunity. Sell yourself well and stand your ground, these will prove valuable allies for you during all this.

Follow what you want, don't hesitate any decisions and all will be well. I hope you get the job Max, and that you do move to Mexico if you deeply wish so.
And no worries on the shaving supplies - the U.S. is next door... :)
 
had to inject a little humour :lol:

on the serious side Max, GO!
i could write a big spiel about people i know who have gone places and loved it and some who didn't and regret it
never been vice versa
but i won't bore the tits off everyone with them, so simply put

Fill Yer Boots
 
I'd like to thank everybody for their suggestions/ideas/experiences, I'll try and write a full reply tonight (some posts have some good points on which I'd like to reply), am still at work right now.

I've sent my resume to my HR contact person/friend, she'll translate it into spanish and get it to the people over there. It's still early stages, I'm not skipping the country before the end of the year. (so I'll be here for the secret santa!), if I get the job, we'll take it from there, I can always say no at that point. (but doubt that I will).

I've put foreward a few conditions. (trial period with return ticket etc..), so that I'll have a bit of a "confort zone".

But as most people have pointed out correctly, I have always trived on the unknown, but as has been said, I'm not 21 anymore.

I'm taking it easier today, not a lot I can do right now.

Tonight I'll write a longer post, and I'll reply to the questions/suggestions that have been posted!

Thanks,

Max
 
Im 29 but left home and have lived on my own since I was 17.

As you probably know I quit my job recently because of how unhappy it was making me and I've realised you have to do whats right for you and what makes you happy.
 
FrenchBlade said:
Blyth Spirit said:
Latin America is a large part of a continent; can you narrow it down a little?
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Campeche, Mexico ;)

Max
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Well will read the rest of posts in a minute thought i know where that is state or city. city is lovely quite nice cold beer and my missus has family there. It is a nice place to go but does get hurricanes and flooding every couple of years.

Ps. relax guys you can get aqua velva in mexico
 
Have you researched any Mexican shaving gear that might be available for group buys yet fella :hungrig

Only you can pacify that voice in your head before you go to sleep fella and hindsight is only available after you've taken the jump.

So get that parachute and enjoy the free fall before you pull the rip cord.
 
soapalchemist said:
But I think maybe when you find yourself always looking elsewhere, you need to look more within. Not to say put up with second best, or make do. But I came to realise that in my case anyway, really I was running away from myself....
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I've been told that before, and have done a lot of introspection over the last few years, especially when I quit a cushy job 7 years ago, to go in to nursing, I think I'm on the right path to finding what I'm looking for, but will I recognise it when I find it? I'm not sure who said it, but "happiness is a direction, not a destination", I don't think I can ever be entirely happy, because that would mean I'd have nothing more to live for.
Attero said:
Go with your heart. Sod what everyone else is doing, that's their thing. You have to do Your thing.
...Your situation allows you to be the adventurer.
...Plus lets face it, if you hate it - you can always come home.
...But if you don't go - you will never know.
...Live the dream FB.
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That hit right home, I might actually fear regretting not going more than going itself, and yes, the financial side would allow me to do a U-turn within 6-9 months.
Ids said:
Only thing I can say is you when it's time to stay put because something like this wouldn't of even been an issue and yes it usually involves a girl.
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I tend to half agree with this, my ex, moved to Peru 4 years ago, the only reason we split up was her dream of moving to peru was not compatible with my current situation.
(financial/work wise) and I did not want to be dependent on her.
We could have settled down in France, do the whole thing, but knowing how important travel is for my well being, I knew how important it was for hers.
It's what they say, If you love someone enough, let them go, if they don't come back, it was never meant to be. I could never stifle someones dreams, no matter how much I love them.

Fido said:
Reminds me of one of my favourite books:
<!-- m --><a class="postlink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissus_and_Goldmund" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissus_and_Goldmund</a><!-- m -->
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I'll look out for that one, love books :D
JohnnyO said:
2) You can see it as a great opportunity however you feel that if you go for it this may be saying goodbye to one of the last realistic chances you have of settling in to a certain type of lifestyle which, because you don't have it and many of your friends have, you still have a yearning for.
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This is a very accurate statement Johnny! Hitting the nail on the head there...
Adam D said:
My only concern with the decision that you face is the country itself Mexico. From what I have read elsewhere Mexico is quite a big oil exporter at the moment, but its oil is running out fast and when this happens it may cause quite severe economic problems.
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Personally not too worried about the oil, they can just scoop it out of the sea over there.. (ok, bad joke! ;)) The one thing that does worry me a bit is the political situation with narco gang warfare, and colombia etc... I've been told the people I'll work for are government officials, and have pretty good security, but then again, maybe also bigger targets? I don't feel like being taken hostage by some narco dealer and his pals.. (probably very unlikely!)
N_Architect said:
Max, seems the world is your oyster - and your home. You've grown up by having to move round the globe few times. You're accustomed to different cultures and languages. You feel 'at home' living in such a context. I see no significant reason why you wouldn't want to take another step, another new challenge. For you the challenges are not just 'career-related', moving up the corporate ladder or whatever else. They are also cultural, filmy, they are part of the education which you are acquiring from life as you grow older.
Taking account your age it appears it is not that easy for you to 'settle down', at least yet. What you appear to be in is a journey to discover more, inside but also outside you. How will this journey will continue nobody knows. Seems it has yet to reach an end, at least yet.
Moving around like that (few years here, then few more years there, etc.) has a cost attached to it, though. This cost is personal, and in theory needs to be compensated by the financial, housing and other benefits one gets while away from 'home'. This is the general rule. In some particular professions, there are some 'standards' which are adhered by employers. I heard recently, for example, that if you work for Microsoft you don't get 'expat' status when abroad. Don't know if this is true or if it was different some years back.
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Brilliant post, which I would have quoted in it's entirety, buy it would repeat a bit much in the thread.
Few points you made got me, yes, I feel at home in most places, I'm a chameleon, and nowhere I can truly call "home", a lot of people I know don't even know I'm not french, I can pass myself as dutch/french/south african, and Irish at a push, I blend in, I'm a sponge, I absorb, I adapt. The journey need not end, the journey is life. (well the journey end when I'll be dead..)
This job is not an internal career move, it's "chuck my current job, and get another one" situation, the cost attached, I know, the thing is, this personal cost, it's everywhere, I'm natively dutch, but it almost killed me having to live there for 4 years. (after11 years absence), I think the cost you pay, is when you're going against your will, I would not do something I didn't want, I'd quit before.

You mention MS and expat status, I can confirm that one. (my dad is an ex MS manager)
RB73 said:
Only you can pacify that voice in your head before you go to sleep fella and hindsight is only available after you've taken the jump.
So get that parachute and enjoy the free fall before you pull the rip cord.
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Hindsight is always 20/20 :shock:
Alton_Bee said:
IF you decide not to go ahead with this move is it something you will regret in years to come ??
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moodymick said:
Do it - you only live once and you're a long time dead.
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IanM said:
I'm inclined to put my feet firmly in the 'go for it' circle of this particular Venn Diagram.
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Thanks guys!
RB73 said:
Have you researched any Mexican shaving gear that might be available for group buys yet fella :hungrig
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hunnymonster said:
hando said:
WHOA
and how do you expect us to get our Aqua Velva then, eh?
selfish twat :roll:
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He can hop over the border to the US (at his expense obviously) and send it from there :lol:
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JohnnyO said:
Still nearing wetting meself at the "selfish twat" thought ! Oh, I did enjoy that.
JohnnyO. ;)
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Yes, not to worry guys, If I go, I'll have interwebs there, so a mexican group buy could be done. So you can all continue breathing in the meanwhile! :lol:
(they probably have quite a bit of spanish stuff..)

Anyways, I think I got back to most of you, I might have skipped one or two, that might have been similar to what the others said. Thanks to all who have given their ideas, experiences etc.. it's been very helpful. I won't have a lot of news until probably another couple of weeks, and I'll probably still be around jan/feb. (bloody coldest months! GRRR!)

Cheers,

Max
 
As a priest who hears a lot of questions and deals with people making big choices or wrestling with moral issues can I just add that we ought to be running a book on the odds of Max staying or going.

I'l take 7/2 against him staying in France.
 
I think the worst thing in life is to have a bag full of regrets and missed opportunities. As someone has already said, there are no real ties to keep you there. In your position I would go and look at it as a new adventure. If it works out then great, if it doesn't, move on with no harm done, just don't look back in a few years wondering what if....
 
Just to keep you guys up to date, I've applied to the job, my curriculum vitae is in their hands, I've decided that if they'll have me, and there is no big problem (civil war, family problems etc..) that I'm going, life is too short.

FrenchBlade said:
Ids said:
Only thing I can say is you when it's time to stay put because something like this wouldn't of even been an issue and yes it usually involves a girl.
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I tend to half agree with this, my ex, moved to Peru 4 years ago, the only reason we split up was her dream of moving to peru was not compatible with my current situation.
(financial/work wise) and I did not want to be dependent on her.
We could have settled down in France, do the whole thing, but knowing how important travel is for my well being, I knew how important it was for hers.
It's what they say, If you love someone enough, let them go, if they don't come back, it was never meant to be. I could never stifle someones dreams, no matter how much I love them.
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On a second note, I'm sort-of back with the girl that fled to Peru all those years ago, she's currently in France, but will be going back by the end of the month, no idea how we're going to sort that, but we'll see when we get there.

Cheers guys for all the advice/ideas and banter!

Max
 
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