Growing Old

[Geofnay]

Whilst getting ready for bed the other night, I said to my wife - look at me: my hair's thinning, I've got bags under my eyes, I've got jowls, a double chin and a terrible paunch.
Silence.
I said 'can't you say something positive'?
Her reply - 'well there's nothing wrong with your eyesight'.

 

[Gairdner]

Her: Does my arse look big in this?
Me: Your arse looks big in everything.
Her: Wallop!
Me: Ahhyaa bastert, that wiz sair!

 

[De 2]

Cuddled up in bed, spooning I think its called. I was fast asleep.

'Take that thing out of my back, what do you think you are, an armed robber?'