The unintended joy of the Arko Men site

[longplay]

I happened to be over on the Arko Men site (why wouldn't I be?) and switched to English. Some wonderful translations are to be found (I shouldn't laugh, but...).

One of the banners on the home page claims:

Better consistency and slipperness

Not entirely sure why I want slippers in my shaving gel but...

The Cool Shaving Cream description is:

Arko Men's Cool Shave Cream provides a refreshing shave experience with Vitamin E and special odor in the formula.

The Sensitive Cream's description is:

Arko Men Sensitive Shave Cream contains Lavender Oil and aloe vera formula to moisturize the skin and soften the beards to help prevent irritation, burning and redness that can occur during shaving. It does not contain perfume and paint.

All of their directions state:

Soak your face with warm water. Arko Men Shaving Kremini is shrunken to the shaving brush, and it does not clutter as it creates dense foam in the face.

 

[Shemen Zait]

I recently bought a cheap Bluetooth receiver for the car and the instructions are pure plated gold [emoji4]

Even if I inserted the original Mandarin into Google translate I think I'd get a better output [emoji43]

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk

 

[pjgh]

Arko ... special odo(u)r? Oh, yes

 

[Roscotanna]

I'm glad there's no paint in it haha

 

[JohnnyO]

I'm glad there's no paint in it haha

It doesn't contain paint, but as for stripping it , well, that's altogether another story ...

JohnnyO. o/

 

[Eeyore68]

As a non-native English speaker myself; just try to express yourself in a foreign language [emoji6]

Of course a business should have the English proofread by a native speaker.

 

[Far Cry Toff]

Have you heard how "native", speakers destroy out beautiful language?.Being a native speaker these days is no guarantee of accuracy in grammar or spelling.
They should of listened, like, more intense when they was at school, innit,....

 

[Wishbone]

They should of listened, like, more intense when they was at school, innit,....

Ah! ..... The phonetic joys of Multicultural Youth English ........ or, as Dad puts it : 'They're talking bloody monkey again!'

I'm often amused at people who will bemoan the linguistic slaughter that is the local Scouse accent and dialect (it's true ... we have a particular disdain for the poor letter 'H'), yet when I see their written work, I cringe at the thought of such a missive landing upon my desk or in my inbox.

 

[JohnnyO]

When I lived and worked in Liverpool, a city and people I love, what fascinated me was the way they dropped the 'n' in front of a word commencing with a vowel, eg " Our lad had a accident '. Or, indeed, " Our lad bought a Arko stick ".

JohnnyO. o/

 

[Wishbone]

Exactly mate ..... butchery ..... The mix and match of languages, accents and dialects that have evolved into our modern speech haven't been kind to the conventions of Her Majesty's English ......... but it does stand out a bit

 

[JohnnyO]

' stand out a bit ' ... Now there's true mastery of The Queen's English as she should be spoke !

JohnnyO. o/